A Different Kind of Knight
by Isabel5
Summary: Puck/Rachel - Rachel thought she wanted the Knight In Shining Armor, the white horse, and the happily ever after.  But horses get diry and armor rusts.  Maybe what she needs is a different kind of knight. One-Shot


**Title**: A Different Kind of Knight  
><strong>Fandom<strong>: Glee  
><strong>Pairing<strong>: Puck/Rachel  
><strong>Rating<strong>: M for language  
><strong>Spoilers<strong>: Up to New York  
><strong>Word Count: <strong>10,289/ 27388  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> Don't own Glee.  
><strong>Author's Note<strong>: This is for smartalli's drabble meme prompt: Christian Kane's "A Different Kind Of Knight" You can listen to the song here:  
><strong>Summary: <strong>When Rachel was a little girl, her fathers would tell her stories about a Knight In Shining Armor who would rush in on his white horse and take her away to his castle where they'd live happily ever after. But they never mentioned that horses get dirty and castles fall down and armor rusts. Maybe she needs a different kind of knight to save her this time.

When Rachel saw _his_ name in the paper on Monday her heart skipped a beat, like actually skipped a beat. She'd just finished an article about the Strawberry Festival and was flipping the page when his name caught her eye and she froze, her coffee cup halfway to her mouth, her knuckles white on the handle.

She hadn't seen him in eight years, hadn't actively thought of him in a little over six, so to see his name randomly on a Monday morning while she was avoiding grading papers, was like a shot to the gut. It hit her a lot harder than she thought it would, a lot harder than it probably should have.

The late bell rang and she was startled out of her daze by the intercom screeching to life with that day's morning announcements. She cursed, spilling a bit of coffee on her sleeve as she set the mug down and absently slid the newspaper into the stack of papers she wasn't grading before scooping them up and hurrying out of the teacher's lounge. Her hand curled around the doorknob to her classroom just as Principal Baxter reminded everyone about the assembly that Friday afternoon and signed off.

"Didn't think you were going to make it, Mrs. Hudson." Max Taylor looked up at her from where he was perched on the edge of Callie Parker's desk.

"More like he was _hoping_ you weren't going to make it," Callie said shoving Max off of her desk before Rachel had a chance to.

"That hurts, Max," Rachel said unconvincingly as she dumped the papers into her desk drawer and took a minute to compose herself.

"It's not like that, Mrs. H," Max insisted. "You know you're my favorite teacher. It's just the fifteen minute rule. Teacher doesn't show, you get to walk." Max shrugged.

"That rule is a myth," Rachel turned around to write the chapter number for the day on the board. "But when I went to school here, we only waited ten minutes."

"Seriously? You used to skip class?" Max narrowed his eyes at her. "I'm impressed."

"What? I can't be badass?" Rachel asked putting her hands on her hips and staring him down, just liked _he'd_ taught her to do to the Cheerios all those years ago.

"Totally didn't say that, Mrs. H." Max shook his head with a smile and sat down in his own seat.

"I didn't do it a lot," she admitted. "In fact I'm pretty sure in four years of high school I probably only did it two or three times." _And it was usually only because he could convince me of anything._ Rachel found herself thinking. 

"Still counts," Max shrugged.

"Chapter 34," Rachel said to the class at large, grabbing the dog-eared copy of Pride and Prejudice from the corner of her desk as she flipped to the right spot. "What did we think?"

The rest of the class was spent discussing Mr. Darcy's less-than-romantic marriage proposal and the revelation of Mr. Wickham's true character and for the most part she managed to put _him_ out of her head.

"All right, I want you to read the next five chapters for tomorrow. That's all." She walked to her desk when the bell rang and sat down making notes and adjusting her lesson plan.

"Mrs. H?" Max's voice called from beside her desk and she looked up to see him standing there, one hand on the strap of his backpack, the other holding out a bright, shiny red apple to her. "I was being serious when I said you were my favorite." He winked and Rachel rolled her eyes but took the proffered apple anyway.

"I know, Max." She set the apple on the edge of her desk and went back to her lesson plan.

"So, like, how does he get the girl?" Max asked her and he sounded a bit nervous now so she looked up and saw him shifting from foot to foot.

"Who?" Rachel frowned.

"Darcy," Max said. "He and Elizabeth hook up in the end right? I mean, in these books the guy always gets the girl but I don't see how. He insulted her and her family, he basically told her that she wasn't good enough for him but that he would marry her anyway. He was an ass," he cut his eyes to Callie, who was busy packing up. Rachel sighed. _Ah, young love_.

"Language,"she said automatically and Max smiled. "Why don't you read the book and find out?"

"Why don't you just tell me?" Max smirked and leaned his hip on the edge of her desk.

In that moment, _that_ smirk, that _I'm-sixteen-and-invincible _smirk, reminded her so much of _him_ that her breath caught in her throat.

Suddenly, she was sixteen again.

"_Come on, Berry, why don't you just do it for me?" he smirked down at her, one hand on the locker by her head, and she turned around to glare up at him. _

"_Because if I do it for you, then how will you ever learn?" Rachel asked, closing her locker. _

"_Ok, then." He took a step forward, definitely invading her personal space and his breath hissed across her cheek when he spoke. "Teach me." _

"_My house, seven o'clock," Rachel said laying her hand flat on his chest and pushing him away a bit to give herself room to breathe. "I'll even feed you." _

"_And that's why I love you," he smirked, tossing his arm over her shoulder and dragging her down the hallway. _

"Mrs. H?" Max asked, the smirk gone from his face now, in its place a look of concern.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" Rachel asked him, still feeling a little flushed from the memory.

"I said you know I'm not so good with the reading," Max rubbed the back of his head self consciously and Rachel almost groaned. She'd forgotten about his dyslexia.

"Right," she sighed and looked around the classroom, making sure it was practically deserted. "Don't tell anyone I said this but I'm giving you, and you _alone_, my permission to watch the movie." Max's eyes went wide and the smirk was back. "But not the Keira Knightly version, the BBC mini-series please with Colin Firth."

"Yeah sure, whichever version means I don't have to read the stupid thing," Max said. "You really are the best."

"Yeah, yeah, if you're late for Chemistry again, I'm not writing you a note," she shooed him away from her desk as Callie Parker walked out the door.

"Yo, Parker," he called after her.

"My name is Callie, Max. It's not that hard, only two syllables." Callie rolled her eyes but stopped to let him catch up.

"Whatever, Mrs. H just gave me permission to watch the movie so I'm thinking you, me, my house after school, you bring the movie and the popcorn."

"And what are you going to bring?" Callie asked him curiously.

"I don't need to bring anything but the guns," Max said flexing slightly and both Callie and Rachel rolled their eyes at his antics.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

She didn't think about him for the rest of the day. She taught her classes, she made it through Glee rehearsal and two parent/teacher conferences. She came home and fixed dinner for two like she always did. Only to eat it by herself like she always did lately. She sat on the couch and watched television and didn't think about him once.

She didn't think about him when Finn walked in around ten, rubbing his eyes and telling her work was crazy and he was going to straight to bed. She also didn't think about him when Finn bent to drop a kiss to her cheek on his way to the bedroom and the smell of gardenias completely overwhelmed her senses, almost making her gag. He hadn't even showered this time, like he was daring Rachel to say something.

She just smiled and said she had papers to grade so she'd be a little while. It wasn't until the folded up newspaper fell out of her bag when she pulled out the papers that she let herself think of him again. She fixed a cup of coffee and sat at the kitchen table, staring at the announcement in disbelief.

Noah Puckerman

Live The White Room

Thursday-Saturday

Only 3 nights left!

Rachel knew The White Room, not personally, she'd never actually been there, but she knew it was a club in Cleveland. She knew they were famous for live music and for finding talent first. They said playing The White Room was a stepping stone to making it big, sort of Cleveland's version of CBGB's.

Noah was going to be there, Noah was going to play there. If the ad was to be believed, he'd _been_ there for a week already. The idea that he was still playing made her smile. The idea that he was so painfully close to her, made her stomach churn. Her fingers traced the letters of his name willing herself not to think of the last time she'd seen him.

He'd driven her home, kissed her on her temple, and promised he see her in the morning then turned and walked out of her life forever. She found out later he'd left town that night, probably right after he left her house. Apparently he'd packed a few bags, took off in his truck and never looked back. She heard from his mother occasionally at Temple that he was doing fine, that he was still alive. But Aviva never offered any more information than that and Rachel never asked. She wasn't sure she was strong enough to hear the answers.

He was in Ohio. He'd been less than two hours away from her for a whole week, and she wasn't sure what to do with that information so for the moment she decided to do nothing. She poured the rest of her coffee out and dropped the paper in the trash can before making sure the house was locked up.

When she walked into the bedroom Finn was asleep, random articles of clothing were scattered around the room. She picked them up as she made her way to the bed, folding them as she went out of habit. As she set them on the top of the dresser and started smoothing out the wrinkles in his shirt, she found a single, long, blonde hair.

Rachel closed her eyes and willed herself not to cry, reminding herself that it wasn't worth it, that it shouldn't hurt anymore, but it still did. Every time. Taking a few deep breaths, she changed into her pajamas and walked out to the living room to sleep on the couch. She'd been 'falling asleep while grading papers' for a while now and Finn never bothered to question it so she never bothered to come up with a better excuse.

She kept telling herself that she could get through this. That she had to get through this. Because what other option did she have? There were tons of excuses she could use as to why her life was this way. She'd gotten married too young. She'd given up everything for a man who'd given up nothing for her. But the truth was her life was this way because she'd let her life get this way and now she had to live with it.

Her phone vibrated silently on the coffee table and she grabbed it, seeing Sam's name on her screen. She can't say she was surprised that he was texting her this late. He was the only other person that could possibly understand what she was feeling at this moment in time.

_Some days I think I hate her more than I ever loved her._

Rachel snorted. She wishes it were that easy. Hating Finn would be easy but she can't really bring herself to do that, because she really did bring most of this on herself. She typed out a return message and hit send before turning off the lights, her papers still ungraded as she curled up on the couch and went to sleep.

_Some days I don't think I ever loved him at all. _

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Rachel pretended to sleep the next morning as Finn stumbled around the kitchen, fixing breakfast and getting ready for work. She waited until she heard the car start and back out of the driveway before she got up and started to get ready herself. When her shower was finished and she was ready for work, she walked into the kitchen for a cup of coffee only to see Finn's dirty breakfast dishes all over the place. Sighing, she put everything together in the sink to clean later.

If that wasn't bad enough the coffee pot was empty. He'd either drunk an entire pot of coffee, which was unlikely, or only bothered to make a small pot just for him, which was more than likely. She opened the trash can to dump Finn's used coffee grounds in when she froze, seeing the announcement staring up at her. Before she could talk herself out of it she swiped the paper out of the trash, grabbed her bag and left the house.

The fresh air was nice as she walked the five blocks to Sam and Quinn's but Rachel was not prepared to literally bump into Quinn on the front walk as she hurried out of the house distractedly. The sickening smell of gardenias enveloped her as Quinn took a step back and Rachel had to swallow hard not to throw up right there in the rose bushes.

"Hey Rach," Quinn said. Rachel and Sam were pretty sure that Quinn and Finn didn't know that they knew, but she still had the decency to not look Rachel in the eye. "Sam's in the kitchen. Sophie's being a difficult this morning. Maybe you can get her to eat breakfast."

Rachel just nodded as she walked into the house, smiling genuinely for the first time since the day before when she saw Sam sitting in front of her goddaughter, his face covered in oatmeal. "Soph, please give daddy the spoon." Sam reached for the spoon but Sophie just shrieked and pulled it away from him.

"I wish I had my camera," Rachel laughed and Sam looked up at her with narrowed eyes.

"Ray!" Sophie cried out when she saw her and dropped the spoon to the ground, holding out her hands to be picked up.

"Come here, baby," Rachel scooped the girl out of the highchair and spun her around the kitchen.

"She's barely eaten any of her breakfast and we have to leave in thirty minutes." Sam sighed and slumped against the back of his chair.

"That's because she hates oatmeal," Rachel tutted shaking her head. "Who made you oatmeal?"

"Quinn," Sam snorted. "She always likes to try being domestic after—" Sam stopped himself from actually saying it. They don't talk about it, they never talk about it. "Sometimes, I think she might actually feel guilty."

Rachel ignored him in favor of making faces at Sophie. "That's okay, I'm sure we can find something else in the fridge to make. I've got her, you go shower," Rachel shooed him out of the kitchen. "You have oatmeal in your ear."

"Thank you." Sam kissed Rachel's cheek and then Sophie's cheek and ran off toward his bedroom.

Rachel opened up the fridge and then looked in the pantry before smiling and setting Sophie back in her high chair. "How about waffles?" Rachel asked as she pulled the eggs and milk out.

When Sam came back downstairs fifteen minutes later, Sophie was content in her high chair, gleefully chomping on a slice of homemade waffle. "Thank God," he sighed in relief and sat down next to his daughter. "What would I do without you?"

"Well, you and Sophie would probably starve," she joked setting a plate of waffles in front of him. "Relax and eat, we've got time."

"You made me breakfast?" Sam frowned as she sat across from him and he looked at her suspiciously. "You want something," Sam observed with narrowed eyes but it didn't stop him from tearing into the waffles. "This is soo good. You only make homemade waffles when you want something," he mumbled through a mouth full of food while cutting another piece for Sophie.

The last time she made him waffles, she'd needed him to step in as co-chair of the Glee club for a year while Will took some time off to do a musical in New York. He didn't really have the time with football and his classes but he knew it was hard for her, to watch her former mentor go off and do what they all thought she should be doing. The Glee club was so much bigger than when they'd been in it in high school and she couldn't do it on her own, so he'd agreed, on the condition that he got homemade waffles once a week for that year.

If anyone had told her in high school, when the blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy joined Glee, that they would one day be the best of friends, she would never have believed them. The friendship she'd found in Sam had been surprising and so needed that Rachel often thought she could live her life without Finn, but never without Sam.

It started senior year of high school. She and Finn wanted to be together, to stay together, but Finn knew he'd never get into NYU and there was no way he could afford out-of-state tuition for any where he _could_ have gotten into. So he proposed a deal – if she went to OSU with him for school, then he'd move to New York with her after graduation.

She'd agreed because going to school in New York wasn't the big deal; Broadway was the big deal. Broadway was the dream. So if she had to postpone that dream for four years, she could do that if it meant having Finn there by her side when she achieved that dream. It also didn't hurt that Sam and Quinn and Tina and Mike were all going to be there with her.

Her fathers thought she was being sensible. They'd always been worried that with her being in New York, so close to casting calls and auditions, she would let her schooling slide in the hopes of making it big. And while they supported her Broadway dreams, they never made any secret of the fact that they thought her education came first.

Sam had been the only one of the guys to make the football team and, even though he was third string and only played twenty minutes in one game junior year when the starting quarterback was out with food poisoning and the second string quarterback got so viciously sacked he had to be carried off the field on a stretcher, they all went to every single one of his games.

The agreement Rachel had with her dads was that she would get her degree in something practical that could support her on the off chance she didn't make it on Broadway and in return, they would continue to pay for vocal and dance classes and help to support her for the first year when she eventually made it to New York. Rachel chose education because the world always needed teachers and since Sam had always wanted to be a high school football coach, they found themselves in a lot of the same classes. Somewhere between cramming for finals freshman year and Rachel's wedding, Sam had become her best friend.

After graduation, Finn had come home excited saying he'd been offered a job. In Lima. He sat her down and explained to her that it was a really great opportunity, that if he just stayed there for two years, _just two more years_, they could save up a bit of money and it would give him some experience which would make finding a job in New York all that much easier for him.

He'd had charts and notes and in the end, she really couldn't say no because he made such good points. Sam and Quinn, who were recently married and also heading back to Lima, helped them find an apartment in their building and she and Finn moved in. And when Sam mentioned that a teaching position was open in the English department at McKinley where he was the new assistant football coach, Rachel set up an interview with the new principal.

Suddenly, she was a teacher at the high school she thought she'd never have to step foot in again. Living in a town she never thought she'd see again and the only thing that kept her hanging on was the knowledge that it would just be temporary. Two more years and then she'd conquer New York.

Then Finn got a promotion and it was really good money and he was so happy that when he suggested they stay just a few more years and maybe start looking for a house Rachel just agreed because…well, what else could she do?

Two more years came and went. They had a mortgage and Finn was up for another promotion if he just put in a bit more work and Rachel said okay because she'd just gotten so good at saying "okay" and it always seemed to make him happy and she'd grown to almost _like_ Lima. She got to go to Temple with her fathers every week. She didn't completely hate her job, in fact she found she liked teaching, liked being responsible for molding young minds. And Lima had Sam.

Once again, Rachel was there for every one of Sam's football games, at home and away. She was the first one to volunteer to chaperone on any out of town trips. She'd even become the unofficial team mom, always bringing the boys cookies and instituting a team dinner before every game that she generally cooked herself.

And when Quinn found out she was pregnant, Rachel was there for Sam every step of the way. She even took over for him on craving duty some days when he couldn't get away from school to get the ice cream that Quinn had to have _right that second_. When the baby was born, she and Finn were named the godparents.

And their friendship wasn't one sided. He was the one she went to when things between her and Finn got a bit too tense. He was the only one who knew where she'd really been on what had been dubbed her 'lost weekend'. He took her under his wing when she'd been hired at McKinley. He told her which kids were the problem kids and which ones just needed some encouragement. He helped her deal with the politics of the teacher's lounge which were only marginally less harrowing than those of the high school cafeteria. He was there for her when Quinn's pregnancy made Finn and Rachel think maybe it was time to start their own family and he was there when a year later they still weren't pregnant.

And when Rachel and Finn decided to stop trying and leave it up to fate, and Sam and Quinn were getting buried under the pressures of being two working parents with a one-year-old at home, they were there for each other. And when Finn started working later and later and Quinn started pulling away from Sam and they both sort of realized what was going on at the same time, they were there for each other.

And now every time Finn comes home smelling of Quinn's perfume or Quinn blows off another of Sam's games claiming she has to stay at the office, they're there for each other. So she knew that Sam was the only one who would understand. He wouldn't ask questions she can't answer and, more importantly, he wouldn't judge her.

Rachel pulled the wrinkled newspaper from her pocket and slid it across the table to him. "I want to go," she said as he read it over slowly then looked up at her sadly.

"Is that a good idea?"

"I don't care," Rachel said and for the first time in a long time she didn't really care at all. "I want to go, but I need you to come with me."

Sam stared at her and then down at the ad and nodded. "I'll have to get a sitter."

She wanted to make a comment about Quinn not being able to watch her own daughter for one night but she bit her tongue. They didn't do that. "Callie Parker's been looking to earn some extra money. I can talk to her today in class if you want?"

"Yeah, sure," Sam said, shoving another bite of waffle into his mouth.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The week went by excruciatingly slow and Rachel couldn't seem concentrate on anything for more than five minutes at a time. Even her students could tell something was going on. She kept forgetting what book she was doing in which classes, saying Mr. Rochester when she meant Mr. Darcy, Jane when she meant Elizabeth. By Thursday, she'd become such a nervous wreck she didn't even bother trying.

"I'm sorry, did you say '_free period'_?" Max asked as Rachel sat down at her desk.

"I said 'free _study_ period' actually," Rachel smiled.

"But we're supposed to go over the implications of Lady Catherine's visit and Wickham's—" Callie was cut off when Max slapped his hand over her mouth.

"She said free period, Parker, don't question it, don't complain just smile and nod," Max said. She glared at him and he jerked his hand away. "You licked me," he said looking between Callie and his hand as she raised her eyebrows in defiance. "I kind of liked it," he whispered in her ear before flopping back into his seat.

Rachel watched them surreptitiously with a soft smile on her face for the rest of the class. Max scooted his desk over until he was practically on top of Callie's. She tried to ignore him at first but he made it pretty difficult, pulling her hair and doodling what Rachel was willing to bet were obscene pictures in the margin of her notebook until she finally just gave up and let Max have her undivided attention.

"What?" Callie asked him, exasperated.

"I need help with Spanish," he said.

"So hire a tutor," Callie told him.

"Come on, Parker," Max groaned. "You like ace that class without even trying."

"Max, I've got my own work to do here," Callie pointed at the books spread out on her desk.

"Please, it's Thursday. I know you. You finished all your work for this week yesterday. I'll bet all that stuff is for next week." Max said and when Callie blushed, it was all the confirmation he needed. "Come on. Schue said if I didn't pass this test, I was gonna have to retake the class this summer. You know I can't do summer school. Putting those two words together makes me physically ill."

Rachel watched as Max turned his puppy dog eyes on Callie and shook her head, because no way the girl could resist that. "Come on, Cal, I don't know what it is but when you explain this shit to me, it's like, the only time it makes sense."

Callie rolled her eyes and held out her hand. "Spanish book."

"You rock," Max smiled pulling his book out of his bag and dropping it on top of her desk.

Rachel shook her head and tried to concentrate on her own work as Callie walked Max through verb conjugations and vocabulary. Rachel wasn't sure how he managed to learn anything because every time she looked up at them, Callie was looking down at the book and Max was looking at Callie.

When the bell rang Max packed his bag slowly, almost hesitant to leave. "I think you've got it, Max, I really do," Callie beamed at him, proud.

"I'm still a little rough on the verb tenses," he shook his head in annoyance. "Maybe we could get together at lunch, go over it again?"

"Oh," Callie said and something in her voice made Rachel look up. She was looking at Max with sad eyes.

"Callie," A voice called and Rachel and Max both looked over to see Chris Roth standing in the doorway. He was Callie's 'boyfriend', and Rachel used that term loosely.

"Callie?" Max called her attention back to him. "Lunch?"

"It's just," Callie bit her lip. "I normally eat with Chris."

Max snorted and rolled his eyes and Rachel couldn't help but sympathize. "You mean you sit at the same table as him while he tweets about shit no one cares about and talks to his friends," Max countered and Callie's face fell. "You know what forget about it." Max pulled his bag up higher on his shoulder and headed for the back door to the classroom.

"Max, wait," Callie took a step toward him and he stopped and turned around to face her.

"Callie, come on, I can't be late to History again," Chris said not bothering to look up from his phone.

He wasn't supposed to be using the phone during school hours but no one really enforced the rule unless it rang in the middle of a test or something. But the catty school girl part of Rachel had to resist the urge to confiscate it out it spite.

Callie looked from Chris to Max and Rachel sucked in a breath, because she wasn't seeing Callie and Max and Chris anymore.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"_Rach!" Puck called from the other end of the hall. "Rach, wait up." He pushed through the throng of students, going against the flow to get to her and she stopped and waited for him to catch up. _

"_Noah, what can I do for you today?" She smiled up at him and he smiled back, grabbing her elbow and pulling her a little to the left as a group of freshman girls came down the hall, not paying attention to where they were going. The one on the left barely missed slamming into her. _

"_I was talking to Ms. Pillsbury about applications like you told me to and she said that the personal essay was going to be my ace in the hole, whatever that means, and I need to pay special attention to it seeing as how my grades aren't really the best." _

"_They're getting better though," Rachel reminded him, placing a soft hand on his arm. And they were getting better. When he'd mentioned that no school worth anything was gonna to give him a second look with his grade point average, Rachel had made it her mission to bring it up by two points before the end of the year. She'd made color coded study charts and had him request extra credit from every single teacher and then made sure that he did it. And it worked, he was already up to a 2.5. _

"_Look I don't know what the hell to write about. I have a feeling admission's boards aren't going to want to hear about how for two years I threw at least one dork a day into the dumpster or how I was the first person to ever give someone a slushie facial. They're not gonna be impressed by the fact that I've fucked every cougar with a pool in the city limits." _

_Rachel screwed up her nose when he said 'fucked' but didn't let that deter her. "Actually, I think you should write about all of those things. I think you should tell them how you slept with your best friend's girlfriend and how you got her pregnant at 16." _

"_Geez Rach," Puck took a step back from her slightly pissed off but she tightened her grip on his arm and didn't let him go very far. _

"_And then you should write about how you did the right thing even when she was giving you a way out. You should write about how you stepped up and took responsibility, even when she was too ashamed to admit that you were the father. You should write about Beth and how much it hurt to give her up but how you knew it was the right choice because it was what was best for her." He softened with every word she said and when she took a step toward him, he didn't back away. "You aren't that guy anymore, Noah, but for some reason you had to be that guy for a while so that you could be this guy and they need to know that." _

"_Right," Puck swallowed. "You've got a free period now don't you? Maybe we could go to the library and you could help me with it?" _

"_Oh," Rachel said surprised and looked over his shoulder, Puck followed her gaze to where Finn was walking down the hall with Artie. "I would love to Noah but I promised Finn I'd help him with his choreography before Glee." _

"_Right, it's cool. I'll just figure something out." Puck nodded and shook her hand off his arm as he pushed past her. _

"_Noah," Rachel sighed. _

_"Look, it's not that big of a deal. Whatever, Finn definitely needs more help with his choreography. I got this." He assured her. _

"_Hey, Rach!" Finn called out to her, waiting by the choir room door. Rachel ducked her head and walked toward him. She stopped when she got to the door, hesitating a second before turning around to tell Puck to come over to her house after Temple and she'd help him then but he was gone, already around the corner._

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Rachel knew Callie's dilemma, better than Callie herself could possibly know it and Rachel wanted to grab the girl by her shoulders and shake some sense into her but she bit her lip and stayed in her seat. Callie had to make her own decision and unfortunately, that might mean making her own mistakes. "Meet me in the choir room at 11:45. If you're late, I'm leaving," she called to Max.

"11:45," he nodded and walked out of the room with a smile on his face.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Max tried his hardest not to groan as Callie went on about the difference between past and present tense in feminine and masculine words. He didn't know how a word could be either feminine or masculine—though unicorn was a pretty girly words so whatever. He saw Mrs. Hudson and Coach Evans walking towards them and leaned back in his seat a bit to listen to their conversation. Something was up with Mrs. H and he was gonna figure out what.

"So Callie's gonna be at the house for six," Sam said to Rachel. "If we leave by six thirty we'll make it to Cleveland with time to spare."

"And she knows she might have to stay late?" Rachel asked him and Sam nodded.

"Are you absolutely sure you want to do this? There's still time to back out." Sam told her.

"No, no I want to do this. I _need_ to do this." Rachel said definitively. "And I can't think of anyone better to do this with than you."

"Ok then plan to be at my house about 5:45?" Sam asked and Rachel nodded.

"Max, are you paying attention to me?" Callie snapped and Max swung his head around to her and smiled sheepishly.

"You're babysitting for Coach Evans tonight?" Max asked her and she was so surprised by the question she couldn't do anything but nod. "I'll help."

"I think I can handle a single two-year-old by myself," Callie snorted. "All I have to do is feed her and bathe her and she'll be in bed before eight."

"Yeah and then you'll be all alone, in a strange house, with strange noises, until God knows when." Max reminded her.

Callie narrowed her eyes at him and crossed her arms over her chest. "What's this really about?"

"Something's up with Mrs. H and I think it might involve the Coach."

"You're worried about her?" Callie asked in disbelief.

"Don't act so surprised," Max grunted and Callie smiled.

"It's a good surprise," Callie assured him and he ducked his head.

"Callie, what the hell?" Chris said, walking up to the table and glaring at Max.

"I'm helping him with his Spanish." Callie explained.

"And you couldn't do that like, any other time?" Chris protested. "We _always_ eat lunch together and I don't see why you had to blow me off for this loser. He's never gonna pass Spanish anyway."

"He's not a loser," Callie said just as Max made a move to jump up. "And if I have anything to say about it he's going to ace Spanish." Callie put her hands on her hips and glared as Chris pulled out his phone. "And by the way, I wouldn't call you ignoring me to talk to you friends and tweet about stupid shit 'eating lunch together'."

Chris narrowed his eyes at her. "It's not stupid, people love my tweets."

"Really?" Callie pulled out her phone and tapped the screen. "Newsflash, no one cares that you '_found a potato chip that was totally shaped like Michigan',_ Chris. No one." Callie grabbed her bag and stormed off to the door in a huff.

"I'm so tweeting about this," Chris called after her, pulling out his phone and she raised her hand over her head and flipped him off without turning around.

Max gathered his books and opened his mouth to tell Chris just what exactly he could tweet when Rachel walked by and plucked the phone out of his fingers. "You know the rules, Mr. Roth, no phones on school campus. You'll get this back at the end of the day."

She slipped the phone in her pocket as she walked away and Chris looked around the cafeteria, where literally every other student had their phone out, then back at Rachel. "You can't be serious," he balked at her. "Coach!"

Sam just shrugged as if there was nothing he could do. Max knew there was a reason Mrs. Hudson was his favorite teacher. He shoved everything in his bag and ran toward the cafeteria doors. "Yo, Parker! Wait up."

Sam smiled as Max ran after Callie and nudged Rachel with his shoulder. "You enjoyed that way too much."

"He's a jerk," Rachel shrugged.

"He's eighteen. That pretty much goes without saying," Sam said. "But he's got an arm that's gonna take us to state this year."

"And once again, being good at football excuses asinine behavior," Rachel said.

"It's not like that," Sam protested and Rachel raised her eyebrows.

"Beiste would have benched you if you'd acted like that," Rachel pointed out.

"I bench him and we don't even make it to the play-offs," Sam shook his head.

"So? She coached you guys to not only be the best football players you could be, but also the best men that you could be, even if that meant losing. She never would have put up with that," Rachel said. "And Blake could be just as good as Chris, if not better, all he needs is encouragement and a chance—"

"Ok Rach, I get it," Sam laughed cutting her off. "I'll put Chris on probation for the next game and start Blake." He took a sip of his water and smiled. "But if we lose, I get homemade waffles. Every day for a month."

"Deal," Rachel smiled.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"This is very exciting," Rachel said as the bouncer stamped her hand then passed over her ID.

"It's just a club," Sam reached back and grabbed her elbow to make sure he didn't lose her in the crowd.

"But, I've never been to a club before," Rachel said simply and Sam closed his eyes, forgetting sometimes that he was talking to Rachel Berry. She'd been with Finn since high school. She got married her sophomore year of college. Of course she'd never been to a club. "It's loud," she said as she crashed into his back. "And dark." Sam turned around to smile at her and she looked down at the ground, slowly lifting her foot from the ground with a disgusted look on her face. "And very, very sticky."

"Let's get you to a table," Sam shook his head and steered her over to a small table that three woman had just vacated. "Sit," he pushed her down into the chair. "Don't leave the table or we'll lose it, okay?" Sam said before turning around.

"Where are you going?" Rachel asked in a panic, grabbing his arm tightly.

He laughed and pried her fingers from his elbow. "To get us some drinks. I'll be back."

Rachel nodded and crossed her hands demurely in her lap, her eyes wide as she took everything in. Sam leaned against the bar waiting for the bartender, drumming his fingers on the bar top. He saw a crooked sign hanging behind the bar declaring in large letters "Noah Puckerman Live!". The man in picture was unmistakably Puck except…not. He was in a t-shirt and jeans, lounging back in a chair with his guitar on his lap. Gone was the mohawk and the ever present smirk he normally associated with his friend. He looked older, wiser if that was even possible.

"What can I get you?" the bartender asked.

"Two Buds." Sam pulled a twenty out of his pocket and dropped it on the bar as the bartender reached under the counter. "When's Puckerman go on?" Sam nodded to the poster.

"Around 9," the bartender opened the beers and slid them over, picking up the twenty and counting out Sam's change. "Don't worry, you'll be able to tell when all the chicks flock to the stage."

"Ladies man?" Sam asked with a laugh and the bartender shook his head.

"Not that you'd notice. Plays his set. Has a beer. Leaves," the bartender shrugged. "Alone."

Sam nodded at that. That definitely didn't sound like the Puckerman he knew. When he got back to the table Rachel was smiling up at a shady looking guy in a hoodie. "Sam!" Rachel smiled, taking the beer from him. "This is Carter, he-"

"Not interested," Sam said and Rachel turned to him.

"Sam!" She said sharply but Sam just glared at the guy.

"Not. Interested." Sam said more firmly this time and Carter threw up his hands and backed away as Sam took a sip of his beer.

"That was incredibly rude," Rachel crossed her arms over her chest.

"He was a drug dealer, Rach," Sam told her and Rachel froze.

"Really?" Her face fell and Sam couldn't tell if she was disappointed in Carter or herself for not catching on.

Sam smiled and shook his head taking another sip of beer to steal himself for what he was about to ask. "So, what exactly happened between you and Puck?"

Rachel opened her mouth and then closed it, ducking her head and letting her hair fall into her eyes. They didn't talk about Puck. It was sort of an unspoken rule. They didn't talk about Puck, like they didn't talk about Quinn and Finn.

"Look, it's just you never talk about it. All I know is the night before your wedding he went looking for you after the rehearsal dinner and then three hours later, showed up at my house and practically shoved the ring box in my hands, saying he "couldn't fucking do it" before peeling out of my driveway. No one's seen or heard from him since."

"I think he wanted me to choose him over Finn," Rachel said softly and Sam's eyes bugged out because it was one thing to think something and another thing entirely to have his suspicions confirmed. By Rachel no less.

"Did he actually ask you that?" Sam asked.

Rachel shook her head, picking at the label on her beer bottle. "No, not that time."

"That time?"

Rachel took a deep breath, downed the rest of her beer and looked up at Sam before telling him their story.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

When Rachel told him she was going to OSU with Finn, he thought she was insane. Told her so many, many times in fact. He warned her that she was giving up too much, that she wasn't getting anything in return. He tried, all of senior year to get her to see, to change her mind. He tried all summer to warn her that if she didn't get out now, she might never get out, that the longer she stayed, the harder it would be to leave. He'd even shown up in her room at the end of the summer while she was packing and shoved a piece of paper in her face.

"_What is this?" she dropped a handful of sheet music into a box and took the paper. _

"_Read it," Puck said. _

"_This is…" Rachel read it over quickly. "This is…" she looked up at him and smiled brightly, throwing her arms around his neck. "You got into City College in New York!" she squealed squeezing him tight._

"_Yeah," he sighed into her embrace. "I know it's not like NYU or Julliard or anything but—"_

"_No but-this is amazing Noah!" Rachel pulled away to read the letter again. "I knew you could do it if you just tried. I'm so incredibly proud of you. Why didn't you tell me you applied?" _

"_I didn't want to say anything if I didn't get in," Puck shrugged sheepishly. _

"_Of course you were going to get in," Rachel brushed it off. "But why New York? You never mentioned New York before." _

"_Because of you," Puck said suddenly annoyed. "Because that's all you talked about. Going to New York, making it big in New York. I applied because of you, because I thought that's where you were gonna be and I wanted to be wherever you were." _

"_Oh," Rachel stared at him in astonishment, not really sure what to say to that. _

"_Yeah. Oh," he laughed humorlessly. "Then suddenly you tell me you don't want to be in New York anymore. Well, you know what? I call bullshit on that." _

"_Finn thinks—"_

"_Finn thinks? I really don't give a fuck about what Finn thinks right now Rachel, I want to hear about what _you_ want," Puck said. "Look me in the eyes and tell me this is what you want, that OSU is what you want." _

"_I want…I want…I want to be where Finn is," Rachel whispered after a second. _

_He closed his eyes. "Bullshit," he said again, his eyes narrowing. "I know you applied to NYU, even after you made that stupid deal with Finn. I _know_ you, Rachel." _

"_I-I-I just wanted to see if I could get in," she sputtered._

"_And did you?" he asked and Rachel nodded. "Then come with me," he whispered so low, Rachel almost didn't hear him. _

"_What?" she frowned. _

"_Come with me, don't go with Finn, don't go to OSU. Come with me to New York." Puck pleaded with her. _

_Rachel closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I can't." she whispered and Puck hung his head. _

"_Can't or won't?" Puck asked but didn't wait for an answer. "I'm leaving tomorrow morning at 8," he told her and walked to the door. "There's plenty of room in the truck. Just think about it." _

She had thought about it, she'd stayed up the whole night thinking about it. About being in New York with Noah, about the fact that _he_ wanted to be where _she_ was. She wanted to tell him if he wanted to be where she was, he'd be going to OSU. But she couldn't do that to him. He'd gotten into CUNY and she couldn't let him give that up for her. And even as she was thinking that, she knew that was exactly what Finn had done to her.

She sat in her room staring at her clock and watching as 8 o'clock came and went. She never imagined it would be so hard to do nothing but at one point she actually had to stop herself from running the five blocks to his house and never look back. When Finn called her later that day and asked if she wanted to meet up for lunch, she couldn't help but drive past Puck's on her way and when she saw that his truck was gone, something in her twisted, painfully. A week later, she and Finn drove off to OSU together.

Puck didn't come home for Thanksgiving or winter break or spring break and she didn't see him again until the next summer. By then the painful twisting in her stomach at his absence had turned into dull ache that she'd just learned to live with. He was different when he came back, a little quieter, a little mellower. A little more Noah, a little less Puck. It looked good on him, New York was obviously good for him.

They didn't necessarily avoid each other but they didn't exactly seek each other out. It was only by chance that they both found themselves on the McKinley High bleachers one night. Rachel had been using that spot for a while whenever she needed to get away, to be alone with her thoughts, she never expected to see him.

"_Hey," Rachel said, freezing as she walked up the steps and saw him sitting in her spot. _

"_Hey," Puck sat up straighter. _

"_I didn't…I can go if you want to be alone," Rachel turned to walk back down. _

"_No, please, stay," he whispered and she smiled a bit and made her way up to him. "I just had to get out of the house for a while. I'd forgotten how intense my mom could be." _

"_Yeah well, maybe if you came home to visit more often," Rachel nudged his shoulder and he smirked slightly._

_He ignored her and changed the subject. "So how's OSU?" _

"_It's harder than I thought it would be," Rachel admitted in a rare moment of honesty and Puck had no doubt she wasn't talking about the classes or college itself. "But who cares about OSU? I want to hear all about New York. Is it amazing? It's amazing, isn't it?" _

"_It's pretty amazing," Puck nodded and told her all about his classes and his favorite cart to get coffee from and how sometimes when he couldn't sleep, hedl just walk through different parts of the city. He told her that there were so many times he wanted to call her and tell her about this neighborhood he'd found with this little café that he just knew she'd love, or this woman he passed on the street everyday who sold these sweaters she hand knitted with these crazy things on them that reminded him so much of her. _

"_I almost bought you one," he laughed. _

"_Why didn't you?" she asked. _

"_I wasn't sure if I should," he shrugged. "Wasn't sure if you'd want me to." _

"_I think I would have liked that," Rachel told him. "Look, can we just go back? Can we just pretend like that day last summer didn't happen?" _

"_Rach," Puck sighed and dropped his head to his chest. _

"_I miss you," Rachel said. "I miss my friend. Please, Noah." He rolled his eyes at her dramatics, tossed an arm over her shoulder and pulled her up against his side. "You know what else I miss? The mohawk." She looked up at his freshly shaved head and ran her hand over it a few times before he ducked away from her and they were okay again._

He'd gone back to New York when the summer was over but he kept in touch this time. They made it a point to call, text or e-mail at least once a day. Then she and Finn started fighting all the time and when Rachel decided it was just too much to handle, it was Puck that she'd gone to. Sam called it her 'lost weekend' even though she'd been gone about a week.

One Friday, after a really big fight, she jumped on a bus to New York with no bags and no plan and he'd been waiting to pick her up at the station. He brought her back to his dorm and showed her around campus, then gave her the Noah Puckerman tour of the city and she loved every second of it. There was snow on the ground and the air was crisp and freezing and for the first time in a long time, she found she could breathe again.

She loved the café like he knew she would and she bought five sweaters from the woman he told her about. In less than two days, she'd completely fallen back in love with the city. Monday came and he didn't say anything when she was still lying on the floor in his dorm room in one of his tee-shirts.

He didn't want to leave her but she convinced him he couldn't afford to miss classes on account of her and that she was more than capable of entertaining herself for a day. When he got back to his room after his classes, she was sitting on his bed, her eyes red-rimmed. She told him she called Finn and they fought for almost two hours and she was pretty sure it was over.

He told her that he skipped his classes and went to the registrar's office and talked to a very nice lady about transfer requirements and then dropped a stack of papers on the bed in front of her. There was an application, housing request forms, transfer of credits requirements, everything she needed to start over.

They sat on his bed and filled it all out together. A few days later, he brought her back to the bus station, dropped a kiss on her forehead and said he'd see her soon. When she got back to her dorm room, Finn was sitting on the floor outside waiting for her. He looked like a complete and utter mess, like he hadn't slept in days so she invited him in.

He apologized and he begged her to forgive him and Rachel wasn't even sure he had anything to apologize for. She didn't think he'd actually done anything wrong this time. Then he was down on one knee, a ring box in his hand, begging her not to leave him, promising they could work through it, swearing that he loved her. And she'd said yes because she loved him and it was stupid to throw away four years for a city she'd visited for a week and a boy she hadn't kissed since she was sixteen.

When she called Noah to tell him, he was quiet for a while. Just when Rachel thought maybe he'd hung up, he asked her if it was what she wanted, what she _really_ wanted. She said yes with only the slightest of hesitations, and he made it a point to say that he would be there for her, not for Finn, not for her and Finn, but for _her_.

After that, her life boiled down to going to class and planning a wedding. Even though he'd said he was cool with everything, they didn't actually talk much between the proposal and the actual wedding. Then it was her rehearsal dinner and Noah was there laughing with Brittany and Santana. When Tina said something about getting to the Church on time, he'd shot her a disappointed look.

When Kurt pointed out that he thought she always wanted to get married in the winter, she'd sputtered out an excuse about how this was the only date the Church had available for the next two years. Puck was the only one who didn't buy it for a second.

She'd only agreed to the church instead of the synagogue because it was easier not to fight with Finn's mom over it. She'd given into the summer wedding instead of the winter one that she'd always dreamed of because winter reminded her of Puck and New York now, and she couldn't be thinking about another man when she was marrying Finn.

Everything had made so much sense before when she was trying to convince herself, but all of a sudden, he was there and everything just seemed wrong and it was just too much.

So she'd left. Walked out of her own rehearsal dinner and _he_ found her. Not her fiancé, not the man she was going to marry the next day but Noah.

_She was sitting on the bleachers staring out the football field shivering a bit in the cool summer air when a jacket was dropped over her shoulders. She pulled it tightly across her chest as he sat down next to her. "Everyone's looking for you." _

"_I'm fine." She brushed some hair behind her ear. _

"_You disappeared from your own rehearsal dinner," He pointed out. _

"_Tell me all the reasons I should go through with it," Rachel turned to him suddenly and if he was caught off guard by the question he didn't show it. _

"_Because you love him," Puck shrugged. "That's really it, isn't it? All the reason you need?" _

"_What if I need more?" Rachel asked, playing with the zipper absentmindedly. He didn't answer and she hadn't expected him to. "Tell me all the reasons I shouldn't go through with it." _

_That surprised him and he finally turned and looked at her, straight in the eyes. "Because you're too young. Because you're still in college. Because you deserve better. Because this isn't what you want, it's what you think you should want. Because you're getting married in a church. Because he's asking you to give up everything for him and he's giving up nothing. Because six months ago, you were crying in my dorm room telling me that it was over. Because you just…shouldn't." She looked at him and nodded then turned to look back out at the field. _

"_You're going to be there, right?" Rachel asked suddenly, her hand sliding out from under the jacket lying palm up on his knee. _

_He looked at her then down at her hand and slid his palm onto hers, their fingers tangling together. "Yeah, I'll be there," he said as she rested her head on his shoulder. _

"_Good," she squeezed his hand and they sat like that for a while in silence, just staring out into the field until Puck mentioned it was getting late. _

_He drove her to her dads, kissed her on her temple, and said, "See you in the morning."_

"_Promise?" Rachel asked, still clutching his jacket around her shoulders. _

_"Promise," he smiled before getting in his truck and driving away._

But he'd lied. He wasn't there the next day. Her steps had faltered a bit when she got to the end of the aisle and saw Sam standing next to Finn where Puck should have been. All he could offer her was a sad smile and a shrug so she'd slipped her hand into Finn's and forced a smile onto her face.

She never saw him again.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"He didn't ask me to choose him," Rachel explained and Sam just stared at her trying to take it all in.

"Did you want him to?" Sam asked and she nodded. He leaned back in his seat. He knew that Finn and Rachel had their problems. Hell, he and Quinn had the same ones. He just thought it had been a recent development. He had no idea how far back this whole thing went.

"Then why did you marry Finn?" Sam asked her, confused.

"Because he asked," Rachel admitted softly. "And because Noah didn't."

"What?" Sam shook his head not really understanding.

"That night on the bleachers, I wanted Noah to ask me to choose him but he didn't. He never actually asked me to choose him. He always said, 'choose New York' or 'choose to not marry Finn' but he never said 'choose me'. And I thought that's what I needed to hear because that's all Finn ever said. He didn't ask me to choose OSU or Lima, he'd already chosen them, he just wanted me to choose him."

"That's kind of messed up." Sam told her after a while.

"I know." Rachel laughed. "It took me a long time to realize that. It took me an even longer time to understand that Noah wasn't asking me to choose him because he wanted me to choose _me_. And if that choice also happened to include him, then he was okay with that. But at the time I thought because he didn't ask, it meant he didn't want me. So I chose Finn."

"Wow," Sam sat back and finished off the last of his beer. "We need more beer."

"Yes, we do," Rachel smiled softly at him and he walked off back to the bar.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Puck was in the middle of a song he'd played almost five thousand times before. He could play the whole thing on autopilot. But when he'd looked out into the crowd, hers was honestly the last face he expected to see smiling up at him. His fingers faltered on the strings, just for a second. He picked it back up immediately and his bassist, Kyle, was the only one who even noticed, but Puck kept his head down for the rest of the song. He didn't trust himself to look up again until two songs later and she was still there.

Still smiling at him.

He had never been able to forget that smile and he had tried. He'd tried with copious amounts of alcohol and a rotating door of women in his bed but nothing he did could erase the feeling he got when Rachel Berry smiled that smile at him. He felt like he was sixteen years old all over again and, as the last few notes of the song died out, his fingers suddenly took on a life of thier own. After a strange sideways glance from Kyle and a snort from his drummer Brody, both of whom had heard the story a few hundred times after one too many beers, he realized he was playing 'Sweet Caroline'.

He winced internally, thinking about how much of a pussy he was as he began to sing. But then he looked up again and she was still staring at him, still smiling. Her eyes were a bit watery now, one hand covering her mouth as she swayed slightly to the music. He had to tear his gaze away from her before his balls literally shriveled up and fell off, or there was no way he was going to make it through his set.

"You guys were awesome," Puck said pulling his guitar strap over his head and passing it behind him to his bassist. "We'll be back here same time tomorrow night."

The crowd cheered and a few of the girls whistled and screamed for an encore but he ignored them, trying not to be too obviously disappointed that he didn't hear her screams mixed in with all the unfamiliar ones. He turned around, refusing to search the crowd for her face, and stepped behind the curtain into the backstage area where their manager, Dean, was waiting for him with a bottle of water.

He took it without thanking him and twisted the lid off, gulping down half the bottle. When he finally took a breath and looked up he noticed his entire band staring at him. "What?" Puck twisted the top back on the bottle and wiped the water dripping down his chin with the back of his hand.

"Neil Diamond," Dean said expectantly and Puck rolled his eyes , grabbing his guitar and gingerly setting it in the case. When he turned back around, they were all still staring at him.

"You guys picked it up no problem. I'm sure no one even noticed," Puck shrugged, not really wanting to get into it at the moment, especially not knowing if she was still even out there or not.

"Dude, so not the point," Brody shook his head. "You only sing that shit when you're totally wasted and I know for a fact you don't drink before you go on, so what the fuck?"

"I apologized, drop it." Puck tried to push past him but Brody wasn't budging.

"Actually ,you didn't and something's going on with you so no fucking way am I dropping it. You've been twitchy ever since we added Cleveland to the tour."

"Stop calling it a tour like we're real musicians," Puck rolled his eyes, hoping if he got Brody pissed enough he'd forget about what they'd been talking about. In Puck's defense, it wasn't like a real tour or anything. Dean had sort of fallen into the role of the band's manager simply from the fact that he was Brody's cousin and roommate and one day, he'd said he could get them a gig at a local bar for a 15% cut. Three years later, he'd put this whole 'tour' together on his own, setting up the venues and actually doing a pretty good job of getting their name out there.

"Fuck you, I _am_ a real musician. And so are you dude, when you're not growing a vagina on stage and singing about some chick you dated for like five minutes in high school." Brody snapped at him.

"Dude," Kyle stepped in. "That's not helping. Look, seriously man, I know she fucked you up or whatever but we're like nowhere near Lima. And she's married, right? It's not like she's gonna drive all the way out here just to mess with your head." Puck obviously needed to practice his poker face if Kyle's expression was anything to go by. "Wait…she's here, isn't she?"

Before Puck could protest, Kyle, Brody, and Dean all shoved past him and peered through the backstage curtain, searching the bar for the short brunette. "Dude, you don't even know what she looks like," Puck said, hoping they'd realize that and give up.

"Santana sent me a picture," Brody brushed him off as if it were nothing.

"What the fuck?" Puck glared at him. "Since when does Santana send you anything?"

"We're like, Facebook friends or whatever," Brody shrugged. Santana had come to one of their shows in LA and she'd gone out for drinks with Puck and the guys after their set. And despite the amount of times Puck tried to explain to Brody that she didn't do dick anymore, it didn't stop the guy from trying to convince her why one last ride would be good for her soul. She didn't take him up on the offer but apparently, they'd stayed in contact. Puck wasn't really sure how he felt about that.

"I'm not sure how I feel about that," Puck told him and Brody turned to look at him amused.

"It's not like we sit around and talk about you. She ignores me most of the time, actually. I just wanted to know what was so special about this chick that she still had your nuts after like ten years." Brody shrugged.

"She does not still have my nuts after ten years—she _never _had my nuts," Puck protested.

"Sweet _fucking _Caroline," was all Dean had to say in response.

"Look, I was worried about you, okay? It was last year after we played that club in the Village and that crazy hot blonde was practically throwing herself at you. At first, you were totally into her but then she said she'd just auditioned for some Broadway show and gotten the role. After that you proceeded to get shitfaced, then spent the whole night talking about Rachel," Brody told him.

Puck cringed. He remembered that night. It hadn't been one of his better ones. But the role the blonde had gotten was Maria in West Side Story and that had been one of Rachel's dream roles. He remembered making the girl sing _I Feel Pretty _for him, then telling her, unapologetically, that Rachel's voice was ten times better than hers and the only reason that she had even gotten the part was because Rachel had thrown her dreams away to marry his douchebag of an ex-best friend.

"Ok, let's see," Brody said, pulling his phone out and flipping through the pictures until he found the one he was looking for.

"You saved it on your phone?" Puck asked him.

"Always be prepared," Brody smirked. "The Boyscout motto."

"You were never a Boyscout," Puck snorted.

"Whatever," Brody rolled his eyes and angled his phone so the others could see.

"She's hot," Kyle said appreciatively.

"If you can get over that sweater," Dean said skeptically and Puck craned his neck to see what picture Santana sent him. It was actually one of his favorites – a candid shot of Rachel laughing and shaking her head as she tried to back away from a very wet Puck. He had one hand on her wrist and the other was going for her waist when the shot was taken.

It was senior year at one of Schuester's lame mandatory Glee Club bonding activities. After all the drama from their sophomore and junior years, Shue had decided that once a month they would all get together for some group activity that was supposed to bring them closer together and promote team unity or some shit. Puck wasn't sure how well that worked out but usually once everyone stopped complaining about how lame it was, they usually ended up having fun despite themselves.

School was almost over, Nationals was a week away and everyone was so stressed out about the competition and finals and colleges that they were all one wrong move away from snapping. On top of that, Lima had been going through a ridiculous heat wave that was putting everyone even more on edge. They'd all gotten together at Rachel's house for a late night practice/study session. Schue thought that getting out of the school auditorium might help them a bit and Rachel had that kick ass basement and bonus: it was soundproofed.

After hour four of going through the same song, Puck felt like his ears were bleeding and it was like Rachel could tell because she'd called a break and they all drifted upstairs for some snacks and drinks. Puck caught a glimpse of the pool through the sliding glass door and though the Berry's air-conditioning was going full blast, they'd been dancing and singing and he was sweating like a p[ig. So he kicked off his shoes, right there in the kitchen, and then stripped off his shirt, declaring he was going in.

Before Rachel could protest, he'd shoved the sliding glass doors open, taken a running start and cannon-balled into the deep end of the pool. He surfaced just in time to swim out of the way as Sam, Finn, and Mike followed him in. It wasn't long before everyone was in the pool, even Artie. Everyone except for Rachel. She just stood on the edge of the deck, staring at them all with a mixture of disapproval and a bit of longing. The thing was, Puck knew there was no way that she would strip down to her bra and panties in front of everyone like the other girls had done. Well Mercedes kept her shirt on, but Rachel was way too self-conscious to even attempt that.

And it was her house so theoretically she could have gone upstairs and changed into a bathing suit but part of the fun was the spontaneity of it all. It was probably around 98 degrees outside, at night, and there she was in one of her short skirts, knee socks, and a lightweight, short-sleeved sweater with little whales all over it.

Puck floated in the deep end, treading water as everyone screamed and laughed and splashed around him and watched as Rachel primly tucked her skirt under herself before taking a seat on the edge of one of the deck chairs to observe the fun that was happing around her, _without_ her. And he just couldn't take it anymore. He'd pulled himself out of the pool and walked over to her. He didn't say anything just waiting for her to look at him and when she did, it was like she knew what he was there for.

"_Oh no," Rachel jumped off the lounge chair and stepped back as Puck stood his ground, dripping all over the tops of Rachel's shoes._

"_Oh yes," Puck told her as he took a step closer and she took another step back. "You're going in the water."_

"_I most certainly am not!" she said putting her hands on her hips indignantly, which really just made the whole thing ten times better as far as Puck was concerned. _

"_Yeah, you are," he said and took another step toward her. _

"_Noah," she said, the tone of her voice less severe now. Puck could almost swear he heard a bit of playfulness in there so he took another step forward._

"_This is happening, Rachel. I suggest you just relax and enjoy it." _

"_I bet you say that to all the girls," Rachel deadpanned and the joke caught Puck so off guard he almost didn't catch her quick turn as she tried to run away. His hand shot out and grabbed her wrist, spinning her back toward him and as she turned, he heard her surprised laughter. He didn't hesitate, reaching for her waist, lifting her up and slinging her over his shoulder with ease as he took two large strides and then jumped into the deep end of the pool, taking Rachel with him. _

_She'd surfaced, sputtering and flinging curses at him – well, what passed for curses in Rachel-speak. But she didn't storm out of the pool and up to her room like he half-expected her to. She simply peeled off as much of her waterlogged clothes that she felt comfortable discarding before swimming over to him and shoving his head under the water. _

He had no idea who took the picture, he didn't notice anyone with their camera out, but he had an identical copy tucked away in the back of his wallet, behind the pictures of Beth that Shelby sends him ever few months or so.

"Forget the sweater, check out the knee socks," Brody laughed.

"Hey, don't knock the knee socks," Puck told him only half-seriously. "I have some very fond memories of those knee socks."

The other guys laughed without really getting the joke as Dean tossed an "I bet you did" Puck's way. He just shrugged it off. Eventually they turned their attention back out into the club, searching the sea of faces for the one in the picture and Puck could feel his stomach clench with every second that past.

"I don't see anyone that looks like this," Brody said annoyed after a few minutes. "Are you sure she's here?"

"It's been what? Ten years?" Kyle pointed out. "Maybe she got fat."

"She didn't get fat," Puck groaned smacking the bassist in the back of his head and pushing him out of the way to peer through the curtain and point Rachel out. "She's right.." he trailed off as his eyes scanned the crowd, his stomach clenching even more when he realized that she was nowhere to be seen. "She _was_ right there," he mumbled and Dean patted him awkwardly on the back in what Puck figured was supposed to be a consoling manner.

"Sorry, bro," Brody said and _he_ at least sounded sincere. "Hey, at least you can always count on the Puckerman fan club to show up." He nodded at a group of girls who were camped out by the stage door. "Dibs on the slutty blonde."

"First of all, they're all slutty blondes," Kyle pointed out. "Second of all, we've discussed this – you can't call dibs. Third, they came here for Puckerman, so the second they see him, you're not even going to stand a chance so why bother trying?"

"Because I like a challenge," Brody smirked and headed toward the stage door.

Puck closed the curtain and reluctantly followed Brody to the door. The last thing he wanted was to put on a smile and go out there and flirt with the slutty blondes but as Dean constantly reminded him, that was just all a part of the business. Give them a wink, toss them a smile, they ate it up and. in turn, they bought his record. Sometimes it made Puck feel a little bit like a prostitute but Dean would remind that he didn't actually have to promise them anything, he just didn't have to shoot them down.

They squealed when he walked out of the door—and boy, was _that_ getting really old – he wanted nothing more than to head to the bar, down a beer or two then go back to his hotel room and do his best to forget this night ever happened, that he ever saw her again. When the girl in front of him shoved a CD case in his hands and started talking a mile a minute about how awesome the set was and how much she loved him and his music. he just smiled and pulled the marker that Dean made him carry around out of his back pocket.

"Who do I make it out to?" Puck asked, looking up at her briefly.

"Kara," the girl said, her voice somehow managing to go a whole octave higher than it had been before. "With a 'K'."

"Kara, that's a pretty name," Puck said flipping the case open to give him access to the booklet inside. He scrawled out her name in loose flowing script, pausing before deciding what generic sentiment would be best. He looked back up at her and smiled again and she blushed under his gaze.

She was pretty, a little younger than he normally liked but he could be sure she was at least of age, the bouncers at this place were really good about this. Her eyes were a bright blue that he'd rarely ever seen and she didn't look as desperate as the other girls. Still, he knew if tried, he could have her back at his motel room, naked and underneath him in less than twenty minutes (including travel time). If he _really _tried, he could have her up against the backstage door and be inside her in less than five.

Then he thought about Rachel, about the look on her face when she heard the first strains of Sweet Caroline and suddenly Kara didn't seem all that appealing. Frankly, that pissed Puck off because where the hell did Rachel get off cockblocking him without even being there?

He scribbled out a quick _Thanks for coming out,_ then signed his name and passed the CD case back to Kara before moving onto the next girl. This one was a little more blatant with her flirtation and at one point, Puck had to physically remove her hand from his ass, but again he just signed the CD and moved on.

He was actually really proud of the album. He'd written all of the songs himself and they recorded it in the basement of one of Dean's friend's. The sound wasn't studio quality but it still sounded good. Kyle's girlfriend took them out to an abandoned warehouse and took a bunch of pictures, using them for the album cover and the promotional posters. It cost them everything they had left after paying for the tour to have all the copies made up but Puck was sure it was gonna be worth it.

He signed a few more, just grateful that people were buying their music at this point but not really paying attention.

"Who do I make it out to?" Puck asked on autopilot as he took the CD from the next outstretched hand and flipped the case open.

"Rachel," the girl said softly and he froze, taking a deep breath before looking up at the face of a woman he hadn't seen in almost eight years. All around him, the guys had frozen too, so there was absolutely no way that they hadn't heard that.

"Oh my God," Brody said in the loudest whisper known to man. "It's Knee Socks!"

Rachel obviously heard him – because Brody was like the complete opposite of quiet — and she blushed. Puck couldn't help but smile when she actually looked down, as if to remind herself that she hadn't in fact donned a pair of knee socks that evening.

Puck took in her outfit. It was much different from what he was used to seeing her wear in high school, a bit more like the style she was beginning to find in college before he left. Her shirt was loose and flowing, sliding enticingly along her skin every time she moved . Thin straps left her shoulders basically bare and it hugged her curves in all the right places. Her jeans weren't too tight or too loose and they sat perfectly on her hips. When she looked up, he was still smiling at her and that made her stop and smile back at him hesitantly.

"Hey," he said finally.

"Hey," Rachel's smile softened. "You were amazing up there tonight, Noah."

"Noah?" Brody said under his breath but this time, Rachel ignored him.

"It was a good set," Puck shrugged. He wasn't sure what it was about Rachel. From anyone else he'd eat up a compliment like that no problem. Hell, half the time he'd be the first one to declare himself the most awesome musician alive. But whenever Rachel had tried to tell him how good she thought he was, it made him…uncomfortable.

"No, it was amazing, really," she said, reaching forward and placing a soft hand on his arm to show her sincerity. Puck couldn't help but stare down at her hand, notice how small and delicate it looked lying on top of his arm and trying not to notice how good it felt just having her touch him at all after all these years. She must have misinterpreted his expression however because as soon as she saw him staring, she jerked her hand away quickly, her smile disappearing.

"Introduce us," Brody said into the world's worst fakest cough.

Kyle elbowed him hard in the ribs because Puck couldn't reach. "Rachel, this is Kyle my bassist, Brody my drummer, and Dean our manager. Guys, this is Rachel. She's—" Puck faltered for a second, unsure exactly what Rachel was. At one point, they could have been friends; at another, they could have been more. But now, after all these years and the way he'd left things, the way he'd left _her_, he didn't know if they could be anything. But she was here. She'd come all the way out here, presumably just to see him. So that had to mean something right?

"She's an old friend," Puck said finally and her smile returned, bigger and brighter than before.

"It's great to meet you," Kyle said before Brody could open his mouth and say something stupid. "Puck's told us all about you." Rachel paused then because she wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. There was no way to know what Puck had told them, what role he'd assigned her in their complicated history. Had he made her out to be the bad guy? A cold hearted bitch? For all she knew he hadn't told them anything more than that they went to school together, maybe even about Glee. That thought hurt Rachel more than she thought it would, that she might not even be worth telling his friends about.

"All good things, of course," Dean offered and the way he said it let Rachel know that it _wasn't_ all good, that maybe he had told them the whole story.

"I was hoping maybe we could buy you a beer?" Rachel said cautiously then looked at the other guys. "That goes for all of you, because you were all great tonight, really, really great." Rachel paused and looked over at Dean. "Well, not you but only because you didn't play but I'm sure you're quite good at your job, you did get them this gig after all and I'm not sure if Noah told you or not but I tend to babble when I get nervous and even when I know I'm doing it I can't seem to make myself stop so if someone would please just—"

"We'd love to take you up on that offer," Kyle jumped in cutting Rachel off, much to her relief. "But we don't drink." Rachel smiled at the blatant lie. "You guys should catch up."

Kyle reached out and shook Rachel's hand then walked off toward the bar, Dean right behind him. Rachel and Puck stood awkwardly staring at each other as Brody stared at the two of them. Dean walked back over, grabbed Brody by the arm and pulled him away, much to the other man's annoyance.

"So can we buy you that drink?" Rachel asked.

Puck swallowed and suddenly, the club was too loud and too hot as he heard it again. She'd said _we. _Not, 'Can _I_ buy you a drink?', but 'Can _we_ buy you a drink?'. The thought that she'd come here with Finn, that he would have to sit across from the two of them smiling and touching each other while he tried to force down a beer and reminisce about the good old days was just too much.

"Sam's really excited about getting a chance to catch up." Rachel said nervously.

"Sam?" Puck asked, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding and Rachel nodded over her shoulder at a table in the corner where sure enough, Sam Evans was sitting, watching them. "You didn't come with Finn?" he asked her and saw a pained expression flit across Rachel's face for a second but as soon as he'd seen it, it was gone.

"Nope, just Sam and me," She shrugged, her smile a little more forced. "So beer?"

"Sure," Puck nodded and her shoulders relaxed a bit. "But I'm buying."

"No, we came out here to see you. The show was amazing, the least we can do is pay for the drinks." She protested.

"Rach, I drink for free, perks of the job." Puck chuckled.

"Oh! Well, in that case, we'll take two of whatever you're having," Rachel said before walking off back to the table.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Puck got the bartender's attention and held up three fingers. The man motioned to the large group in front of him and Puck nodded, telling him to take his time. He could use a minute to breath, put his thoughts in order. Seeing Rachel, _talking_ to Rachel, was something he never thought he'd do again and he wasn't sure how he felt about it right now.

He was relieved that she didn't bring Finn with her but on another hand, why didn't she bring Finn with her?

Puck figured, seeing as how Rachel came to a dive bar in Cleveland to see him and hadn't shown up to any of his New York gigs, that she was still living in Lima. The ring on her finger told him that she was still married but the look on her face when he mentioned Finn wasn't exactly one of a _happily_ married woman. And he had no idea how he felt about _that_.

The bartender dropped three beers down on the bar top in front of him and he nodded his head in thanks and scooped them up. Puck made his way over to the table and Sam took the beers from him, then gave him some complicated hand shake thing that they used to do back in the day after football games. Rachel laughed at them and suddenly, the tension was broken and it was like the summer after senior year, hanging out together at the lake.

Rachel told him about her teaching job at McKinley and, surprisingly, she actually seemed happy about that. She wasn't so happy when she talked about the house that she and Finn bought a few blocks away from Sam and Quinn. She completely skipped over any mention of her relationship with Finn.

When she'd exhausted all talk about what she'd been doing the past eight years, she forced him to talk about everything he'd done since they'd seen each other last. She dragged from him every city he'd been in, every job he took. Her voice hitched just a bit when she asked about girlfriends but still, she listened intently and was sincerely interested when he talked about his only real relationship with a woman named Jenny who had a five year old kid, Ryan.

He was actually surprised to find himself telling Rachel about how he proposed, about how she turned him down. He told Rachel it was about his music, that Jenny hadn't wanted to tie him down with a wife and a kid in suburbia because she knew he was going places. Which was true, but he didn't tell her about how, when he opened the ring box, Jenny's face fell just slightly. He didn't tell her about how she sat him down after politely declining his proposal and explained something he'd spent years denying.

"_You didn't buy this for me," Jenny said, sliding the ring box across the table to him. _

"_I'm pretty sure I did," Puck opened the ring box and looked down at it. He was waiting for Ryan to get back from school, wanted to make sure the kid knew that just because things hadn't worked out between Puck and his mom, didn't mean he was just gonna abandon Ryan. _

"_Puck," Jenny said softly. "You've seen my jewelry, what about that ring screamed me to you?" Puck stared down at the ring and sighed. "You bought it for her." Jenny told him and after a second, he nodded. _

He had told Jenny about Rachel over a bottle of wine one night when they were just starting out and Jenny had been surprisingly understanding about the whole thing. She'd been the one to clue him into the fact that he was in love with Rachel.

He knew he had feelings for her, that was pretty obvious when he chose New York for her and how much it hurt when she chose Finn over him. Twice. Then the night before her wedding, when they were sitting on the bleachers and he realized, no matter what he said to her, she was going to choose Finn again. Suddenly he just knew he couldn't do it. He couldn't sit there and watch her marry him because it would just hurt too fucking much. That's when he admitted to himself maybe there might have been more. But it wasn't until Jenny that he actually admitted to himself that he'd loved Rachel, that as much as he hated it, he was still in love with Rachel and there was a chance that he'd be in love with Rachel forever.

The conversation lulled a bit after that so Sam jumped in, telling stories about him and Rachel at school together, about his job coaching at their old school. He and Puck talked for a little while longer, stupid pointless conversation about McKinley's chances at making it to the State championships this year.

"Another beer?" Puck asked when he noticed his own bottle was empty. "Sam, another water?"

Sam shook his head, finishing the last bit of water in his bottle. He'd stopped drinking a while ago because he knew he'd be driving back to Lima. "Actually it's getting late, we should probably head back."

"Oh," Rachel looked down at her watch and sat up straighter. "I didn't realize what time it was." She grabbed her bag and stood up and Puck followed her lead.

"I'll walk you guys out," Puck said lamely, not wanting the night to end, not ready just yet to let go of Rachel, to have her go back to her life and to have to go back to his without her.

Rachel smiled as Puck led them to the door then froze once they got outside and saw the torrential downpour that had started at some point while they were talking. "I'll go get the car, come pick you up," Sam said to Rachel. "Puck, man, it was really good to see you again."

"You too," Puck said as Sam ran off into the rain.

"You don't have to wait out here with me." Rachel told him.

"It's past midnight in downtown Cleveland, I'm not leaving you out here by yourself." Puck snorted and put his hands in his pockets as the wind blew the rain in their direction.

"I wasn't expecting the rain," she said softly. He saw her shiver out of the corner of his eye and cursed to himself as he shrugged his jacket off and draped it over her bare shoulders. He remembered draping another jacket over her shoulders a decade ago as they sat on the bleachers at McKinley.

As if she'd read his mind she turned to him and smiled softly, "I still have your other jacket."

He wanted to shake her for talking about jackets right now. Right now in their last few minutes together, after seeing her for the first time in years. Right now when she looked like a goddess and his heart was beating double and he wanted nothing more than to tell her how much he missed her, how much he'd been thinking about her, how much he regretted not taking her with him when he left.

"Keep it." Puck said. "Then you can't say I never gave you anything."

Rachel looked up at him and nodded. She wanted to tell him that she wore it all the time, that Finn didn't even notice that it was a man's jacket, much less recognize it as belonging to Puck. She wanted to tell him that she was afraid she'd have to stop wearing it someday because every time she put it on it smelt less like him and more like her. She wanted to tell him so much more but instead she said, "Sure."

Sam pulled up a second later and Rachel slid the jacket off of her shoulders, passing it back to Puck. She looked at him for a second, debating internally before reaching up on her tiptoes and throwing her arms around his shoulders, pulling him tightly against her. Puck resisted for a second before falling into the hug, wrapping his arms around her middle and squeezing her back.

"I missed you," Rachel whispered, barely audibly into his ears. He closed his eyes and let out a long breath. He could pretend he didn't hear her, let her think that the wind and the rain swallowed the words up, but he was tired of pretending.

"I missed you too," he whispered back and she pulled away from him, smiling. Puck grabbed the door handle and pulled it open for her to climb in.

"Oh!" Rachel said suddenly, one foot in the car as she turned back to him. "You never signed it." She dug in her bag until she found what she was looking for, emerging with his CD in her hands.

"Really?" Puck asked as she shoved the CD in his face and she nodded excitedly.

"One day, you're going to be famous and your signature will be worth a fortune," Rachel said and Puck rolled his eyes as he pulled his marker out. He flipped open the case and paused before scribbling something down and handing it back to her. She reached for it but he pulled it away at the last second.

"Promise me you're not gonna sell this on eBay," Puck joked and just Rachel nodded quickly, snatching it out of his hand.

"The second your first record goes gold," she told him with a smirk. She started to open the case and his hands clamped down on top of hers.

"Don't read it," he told her. "Not here, just…wait until you get home? Please."

"Sure," Rachel nodded. "It was good to see you again, Noah."

"Good to see you again too, Rach," Puck said as she got into the car and he closed the door after her.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Max heard a key in the lock and turned his head toward the door just as it opened and Sam stepped inside with a tired-looking Rachel at his side. When Sam caught sight of him sitting on the couch, he stopped in the foyer and stared, confused.

"Hey, coach," Max waved lamely, turning off the TV. Sam peered over the back to see Callie fast asleep with her head in Max's lap. He gently reached down and slid her head onto a pillow as he stood up and walked around to them. "She was a bit scared being here so late all alone so she asked me to come over. I hope that's cool."

"Yeah, that's fine," Sam said tiredly. "I'm assuming that since you guys are still here that my wife hasn't come home yet?"

"No, sir," Max shook his head but Sam didn't seem really upset by the news, or even remotely surprised.

"Did everything go okay?" he asked and Max nodded.

"Sophie ate all her dinner, then we played for a bit before Callie gave her a bath then put her to bed. She was out like a light in, like, five minutes. I checked on her about an hour ago and she was fine, sound asleep." Max said.

"Thanks," Sam told him sincerely.

Max couldn't help but sneak glances at Rachel. She looked strange, in a weird sort of daze but there was this soft secret smile on her face. "Did you guys have fun?" Max asked cautiously and Rachel sort of snapped back to reality.

"Yes," Rachel nodded at him. "I had a great time." And Max would have believed her but her smile faded and she suddenly looked really, really sad. "Sam, I'm going to head home."

"No, you're not," Sam shook his head, offering her an amused sort of smile. "You're going down the hall and you're gonna sleep in the guest room." Rachel opened her mouth to protest. "It's late, I'm too tired to drive you home and you had more to drink than I did."

"Fine, I'm gonna check on Sophie." Rachel said, kicking off her shoes and heading down the hall.

"Shit," Sam said as looked back at Max. "Do you guys need a ride home?" His keys were in his hands but he looked dead on his feet.

"No," Max assured him. "I'll bring Callie home. We're good, coach."

"Thanks," Sam said pulling out his wallet and handing Max a few twenties. "Give those to Callie for me and lock up on your way out? I'm gonna make sure Rachel doesn't fall asleep on the floor in the nursery."

Max nodded and stuffed the bills in his back pocket before he walked over to the couch and gently woke Callie up. "Coach is home, time to go," Max told her and Callie nodded, sitting up slowly to pull on her shoes. He looked down the hall when he heard a door close and saw Sam and Rachel standing outside of the nursery.

"Hey," Sam whispered and Rachel looked up at him. "You okay?" he asked and Rachel opened her mouth then shook her head. Max watched Sam reached out and pulled her into a hug.

"You ready?" Callie asked standing up. "I'm exhausted."

"Yeah," Max nodded and walked her to the door, looking over his shoulder one last time to see Sam lead Rachel not into the guest room but into the master bedroom. Something was definitely going on.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Puck had been surprised to see Rachel and Sam at the bar the night before. Drinks weren't as bad as he thought they'd be; it was actually nice to catch up. But he figured that would be it. He imagined that they'd go back to their suburban lives and their marriages and he'd finish his gig and move onto the next town and they would never see each other again unless his mom somehow managed to drag his ass back to Lima, which was unlikely.

So to say that he was surprised to see Evans standing on the other side of his motel room door the next morning when he opened it was an understatement. "Hey," Puck said confused.

"Breakfast?" Sam asked, shoving his hands in his pockets and when Puck looked like he was going to decline the offer, Sam rolled his eyes. "I'm buying."

"Yeah sure, why not?" Puck grabbed his jacket and closed the motel door behind him, following Sam out to the parking lot. They drove a few blocks down the street to a little diner without saying a word. They ordered breakfast and coffee and still, Sam hadn't said a word. "Look, I'm pretty sure you didn't take the morning off work to drive all the way to Cleveland to have breakfast with me. So talk."

Sam opened his mouth just as the waitress came back and poured their coffee and waited. Puck figured this was the part where Sam warned him to stay away from Rachel, that the last thing she needed was for Puck to come in and mess up her life. He had been waiting for it ever since Sam caught him staring at Rachel after beer number five last night.

"He's sleeping with Quinn," Sam said suddenly and Puck lifted his head so quickly he could feel his neck crack.

"What?" Puck choked out through a swallow of coffee.

"Finn. He's sleeping with Quinn," Sam said, pouring sugar into his.

Puck set his mug on the table and took a deep breath. "Does she—"

"Yeah," Sam nodded. "She knows."

"How long?" Puck asked.

"About a year and a half," Sam leaned back in his chair.

"Fuck," Puck ran his fingers through his hair a couple of times then slammed his hands on the table in front of him. "That's…fuck."

"Yeah," Sam laughed and shook his head. "It does kind of suck."

Puck closed his eyes then because he had practically forgotten that Quinn was Sam's wife, so he was being cheated on, too. "Fuck, dude. Sorry I didn't even…sorry." Sam shrugged. "That's messed up man. Wait…but you guys are still together, you said so last night. Why don't you just…you know."

"Leave?" Sam asked and Puck nodded. Sam leaned to the side a bit and pulled his wallet out of his pocket. He opened it up and passed it over to Puck. "That's Sophie. She's two."

Puck looked at the picture and it told him everything he needed to know. The little girl was beautiful – curly blonde hair, bright blue eyes, toothy happy grin. Sam was holding her, staring at her like she was his whole world, like she was the only thing that mattered. But the other person in the picture wasn't Quinn; it was Rachel. The little girl had one arm around Rachel's neck as Rachel planted a kiss on her cheek. "She's beautiful, man."

"Thanks," Sam took his wallet back and slid it back in his pocket.

"What the hell happened?" Puck asked.

"Motherhood—I'm not sure it was all Quinn thought it would be," Sam said honestly, the first time he'd ever actually been honest about this whole situation. "I think she thought having Sophie would somehow make up for…" Sam stopped himself right before he said her name.

"Beth," Puck nodded, understanding.

"Yeah," Sam took a sip of his coffee. "She got– after the baby was born, it hit her really bad. The doctor called it post-partum depression. They prescribed some meds and things got better for a while. She was really good with Sophie and she went back to work and we were good again. Then she started working late, she was always at the office, always on some project. Or so I thought."

"She was with Finn?" Puck asked and Sam nodded.

"Just as things were getting better with Quinn and I, things were getting worse with Finn and Rach. They'd been trying to have a baby and it wasn't happening. Rachel was convinced that it was something wrong with her, that she was the problem. Finn didn't really know what to do so he didn't do anything. I tried to help her but I felt like I was just making it worse. I had Sophie, I felt like I was rubbing my daughter in her face. She told me I was being crazy, that she loved Sophie, that Sophie helped so I tried to let her spend as much time with the baby as I could."

Puck nodded for Sam to keep going. "One night, I was over at Rachel's and Quinn called, said that she was going to be working late. A minute later, Finn called Rachel. She had her hands in a bowl of cookie dough so I held the phone up for her, put it on speaker. He told her that he was going to be working late and that she shouldn't wait up for him and as he was saying goodbye, we heard a voice in the background, a giggle. We both knew that giggle. I hung up the phone and Rachel looked at me and I just looked at Rachel. We didn't say anything because, well, what could we say?"

"Nothing," Puck shook his head.

"I brought Sophie home and put her to bed. Quinn came in about two, smelling like she'd just showered. I went to school the next day and Rachel was there, acting like nothing had happened, so I took my cue from her. We didn't talk about it. The next time I got the 'working late' call from Quinn, I showed up at Rachel's house and we made cupcakes so we wouldn't think about it. It sort of became a tradition after that." Sam chuckled. "I'm pretty sure this affair has made me gain like twenty pounds."

Hearing Sam say the word 'affair' hit Puck in the gut. "Why does _she_ stay?" Puck asked. "Her and Hudson don't have any kids. He's fucking sleeping with her best friend's wife, why does she stay?"

"I think a part of it is pride," Sam said. "You know Rachel, I mean when has she ever admitted that she was wrong? She was the one that was so sure she and Finn would last, that was so adamant they were forever. Being so wrong about something like that – it's a scary thought, having to face all of the _I told you so'_s."

"And the other part of it?" Puck asked, almost dreading the answer.

"You," Sam said simply. "She chose Finn over and over again and every time she did that, she hurt you more and more. I think she feels like she has to make that choice mean something because if she leaves him now, it would make everything she put you through was all for nothing."

"This is messed up," Puck said after a while. "Why did you have tell me this?"

"Because I need you to give her another chance, just one more. You need to save her before she ends up—before she ends up like me." Sam said. "Stuck in a life she never wanted, with a kid that she prays to God every night with everything she has inside of her she won't live to resent."

Puck swallowed hard because this whole thing was seriously, seriously fucked up. "Why is this my job? Why is it always my job?" Puck asked.

Sam shrugged. "Do you still love her?"

Puck laughed and shook his head. "Does it matter?"

"It's the only thing that matters," Sam said as the waitress sat their breakfasts down in front of them. They didn't talk as they ate. Puck really wasn't that hungry anymore but he kept shoveling the food into his mouth because what else could he do?

He could picture Rachel from the night before, as clear as day. Only now that he knew what he knew, her smile seemed a bit forced and her eyes a bit less bright. The Rachel Berry he knew didn't live there anymore. He didn't want to be overly dramatic and say that Rachel Berry was dead, but he thought maybe she was dying.

He shoved another bite of bacon in his mouth and forced it down his throat. He could picture Rachel, sitting on her couch in a dark house waiting for Finn to get home, all the while knowing where he'd been and who he'd been with. He could picture her, curled up in her bed, crying into her pillow, silent heartbreaking sobs, as Finn fucked her best friend's wife.

He barely managed to push himself away from the table fast enough. He shoved his way through the other people into the diner and made it to the bathroom in time to lose all the food he'd just eaten in the toilet. He rinsed his mouth out, splashed some cold water on his face and then walked back out to the table.

The waitress had cleared their plates and poured them both a fresh cup of coffee. Puck slid back in the booth across from Sam and was grateful when the other man didn't comment on his disappearing act or the fact that he smelled like puke. When he picked up his coffee, he took a tentative sip before setting it softly on the table top.

"How do I know she just won't choose him again?" Puck asked so quietly, he wasn't even sure if Sam heard him.

"She won't," Sam said forcibly. "I won't _let_ her."

Puck laughed and shook his head. "I had it all planned out you know." Puck pushed his mug away and looked up at Sam. "I wasn't gonna like steal her from him or anything. I just figured that with the both of us being in New York and Hudson back in Ohio, she would realize that they just didn't work. I figured it would happen naturally, they'd grow apart, realize they were different people who wanted different things. And then when she was ready, I'd be there for her."

"She's ready, Puck. I swear, it might have taken her almost ten years but she's ready," Sam said.

"I need to think about this," Puck stood up and grabbed some bills out of his pocket dropping them on the table. "I've put myself out there with her before and every time I get burned. I don't think I can handle it if it happened again."

"Puck—" Sam stood up.

"I've got to think about it," Puck held out his hand and then walked out of the diner.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Max threw another piece of paper at the back of Callie's head, hitting her dead on this time and earning him a very steely glare. "Would you _please_ stop it? I'm trying to watch the movie," she snapped, her voice a cold whisper.

Max looked up at the TV screen. Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy was busy calling that Lizzie chick ugly. Max still wasn't quite sure how he managed to get the girl in the end after that smooth move but Callie had tried to explain it. Something about first impressions and misconceptions and not judging a book by its cover. Max wasn't sure there was any way to misconstrue him calling her ugly but whatever.

"_Plus, it doesn't hurt that he's got dimples to die for," Callie joked._

"_I've got dimples," Max said with a smirk and Callie turned to look at him, tilting her head. _

"_You don't have dimples," she said confused. _

"_They're not on my face." Max winked and Callie hit him with the pillow. _

"You've seen the movie," he pointed out. "And read the book. Look, I'm worried about Mrs. H."

He'd gotten an uneasy feeling the night before when Rachel and Sam came home. It came back this morning when she walked into the classroom pulling the giant AV cart behind her. Seriously, Mrs. H showing a video in class instead of having a regular lesson was like one of the seven signs of the apocalypse.

Callie cut her eyes over to Rachel. She was sitting behind her desk, a pen held loosely in her hands as she stared off into space. She'd been pretty out of it all morning with this strange look on her face, a cross between extremely happy and horribly sad all at the same time. "She's fine."

"You can't honestly believe that," Max hissed at her. "Something is going on. You didn't see her last night and Coach Evans didn't even come in this morning."

"Even if there is something going on, I'm quite sure that it's none of our business," Callie said.

"What does that matter?" Max snapped loudly, loud enough to draw Rachel's attention to him but she didn't say anything, just stared for a second before looking back down at her book. "Look, Mrs. H is cool and I just don't like seeing her like this. Whatever." Max said, his voice more of a whisper this time.

Callie smiled over her shoulder at him. "That's sweet."

Max frowned at her. "No, it's not," he protested.

"Yes, it is," Callie laughed. "It's sweet."

"Stop staying that," Max leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't do sweet."

"I like it," Callie offered him before turning back to the movie and Max smirked.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Rachel was shaken out of her daze when Max snapped something at Callie. She should probably reprimand them, tell them to be quiet. It was the teacher like thing to do. But she wasn't feeling very teacher like at the moment. She wasn't even feeling very Rachel like.

She felt strange in her own skin, like she couldn't get comfortable, like she had never really been comfortable and she just didn't know it. Not until last night. Not until she'd seen him and suddenly, she could breathe again and she realized that she hadn't really been breathing without him. But now he was gone again, and she felt twitchy and restless.

The bell rang and numbly, Rachel nodded at the students as they filed out of the room, wishing her a good weekend. She saw Max waiting as Callie gathered her things together. She saw the younger girl smiling brightly up at Max when he tossed an arm around her shoulder and Rachel's heart ached because it looked like Callie certainly wasn't having any trouble breathing.

She realized how insane it was to be jealous of a seventeen-year-old but she still had her whole life still ahead of her. A chance not to make the same mistake Rachel had made. A chance it didn't look like she was taking seriously if the presence of Chris at her classroom door was anything to go by.

"Hey, baby. You ready?" Chris asked looking pointedly at Max and his proximity to her. Callie ducked out from under Max's arm and her smile faded instantly.

"_Baby_?" Max looked from Callie to Chris and then back again as his own smile faded. "Are you kidding me?" he asked Callie.

"It's complicated," Callie insisted and Max scoffed before turning and walking away.

"Callie?" Chris asked. Callie just shook her head before pushing past him and out the door.

"What the hell?" Chris called after her as Rachel stood up and walked over to the door.

"Go to class, Chris," Rachel told him, following Callie down the hall. She kept an eye on her as she ducked into the girl's bathroom. Rachel stood in the hallway as it thinned out and waited for the bell to ring. When the last student ducked into a classroom and Callie had yet to leave the bathroom, Rachel went inside.

She saw the girl's purple bag on the ground and heard the all-too familiar sound of crying as it bounced off the bathroom stall. "Callie, it's Mrs. Hudson." Rachel said, announcing her presence as she leaned back against the edge of the sink. "Are you ok?"

The crying stopped and a minute later, the stall door opened and Callie walked out, slinging her bag over her shoulder. Her eyes were red and puffy, her nose was running and her skin was blotchy. Rachel didn't say anything as the younger girl turned on the faucet and splashed some water on her face.

"You'll have to choose," Rachel said finally when Callie grabbed some paper towels to dry her face. Callie paused and looked over at Rachel. "Eventually, you'll have to choose."

"I know," Callie whispered and crumpled the paper towel before tossing it into the trash can and turning around to lean against the edge of the sink. "Chris is sweet and gentle and he's been really patient with me but I know he can be a bit of a douche." Rachel snorted because that seemed like a bit of an understatement. "And Max is hot – don't you ever tell him I said that by the way!"

Rachel smiled as she assured the younger woman. "Your secret's safe with me"

"But he's also rude and crass and I thought he was only interested in one thing. Only, when we're alone, when it's just the two of us, he's different." Callie sighed. "How do I know what the right choice is?"

"You don't know," Rachel told her. "You can't know."

"So what do I do? Who do I choose?" Callie asked.

"Neither of them," Rachel told her. "You choose you. And if they want to be a part of that choice, they'll do whatever they need to do to make sure they are."

"I choose me?" Callie asked. "It's really that simple?"

"It's really that simple," Rachel said. "You need to do what's right for you or before you know it, you'll find yourself stuck in a house you never wanted with a husband you don't even know anymore and aren't sure you ever even loved. And you'll wonder how you ever let yourself give up all of your dreams for him while you sit at home alone, fantasizing about handsome guitar players and what could've been if you'd just had the guts to go after what you really wanted—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Callie held up a hand. "You're putting the cart before the horse there, aren't you? I'm seventeen. I'm not marrying anyone, I'm just…I just want to be happy."

"Good," Rachel let out a breath and smiled. "You should get to class. Do you need a late pass?"

"No," Callie stood up straight. "I've got a free period now. Thanks."

"No problem." Rachel said as Callie walked out of the bathroom.

Callie stopped when she got to the hallway, something that Rachel said coming back to her, _"fantasizing about handsome guitar players and what could have been"_. She looked down at her watch and hurried toward the main hall. Max had Chemistry second period which usually meant that he faked a headache and slept in the nurse's office. The old woman didn't even look up when Callie walked in, so she just pushed her way through to the back room and saw Max lying on one of the cots, snoring.

She crouched down beside him and shook his shoulder gently but he didn't stir so she slapped him in the back of his head hard. He shot up and looked around confused, relaxing slightly when he saw her. "What the hell?"

"You were right," Callie told him.

"You mean about how Chris is a douche bag who doesn't deserve you and could never in a million years make you feel as good as I could?"

"No," Callie rolled her eyes. "Coach plays the guitar right?"

"You woke me up to ask me that?" Max glared at her and laid back down on the cot.

"It's important. I think I remember him playing for the Glee club a few times." Callie said.

"Yeah, he plays the guitar," Max said. "Why?"

"Because you were right," Callie stood up. "Something's going on between him and Mrs. H."

"Well, yeah." Max sat up and swung his legs over the side of the cot. "But I'm totally right about Chris, too."

Callie just smiled at him.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Puck sleepwalked through his set Friday night. There were too many thoughts running through his head and he found his eyes scanning the crowd every few seconds for a familiar head of brown hair and sparkling brown eyes but she didn't show. He wasn't exactly sure how he felt about that. On the one hand, the last thing he needed was to have her hanging around, messing with his head. On the other hand, after seeing her for the first time in eight years the night before, he knew that he didn't want to go another eight before seeing her again.

Which is why he found himself sitting in his truck out in the suburbs of Lima at four in the morning. He stared across the street at the quaint, suburban, split-level ranch house with its pale yellow siding, crisp white shutters and honest-to-god white picket fence, and fought the urge to drive away.

This was her house but for the life of him, he couldn't imagine her in it. Rachel Berry wasn't a suburbs kind of girl. She wasn't a yellow-siding-white-shutters kind of girl. And she certainly wasn't a white-picket-fence kind of girl either. The fact was Rachel was a Manhattan-penthouse-doorman-and-a-view kind of girl.

Somehow, shit got all fucked up and she wasn't where she belonged. This is what finally made Puck jump out of the truck and trudge across the street, up the pristinely landscaped walkway to bang on the door.

The light came on less than a minute later and for a split second, Puck panicked. Rachel was married to Finn, which meant Rachel _lived_ with Finn, which meant that it very well could be Finn who came to the door. He had no idea what he was going to say if that happened but he knew he couldn't be held responsible if his fist happened to find its way into Hudson's face.

He heard the lock disengage and was about to turn and bolt when the doorknob turned and suddenly, Rachel was standing in front of him. Her eyes were slightly unfocused, her hair was a bit sleep tousled, and she pulled her robe tighter around her middle as she took him in. "Noah?" she asked, trying to cover up a yawn.

"Are you happy?" Puck blurted out and she squinted up at him before rubbing the sleep from her eyes and stepping out onto the porch.

"What?"

"Are you happy?" He asked again and Rachel sighed, closing the door behind her as she moved to sit on the porch steps.

"What are you doing here, Noah? It's four in the morning." She rested her chin on her knees and he sat down next to her.

"When mom found out I was so close to Lima and staying in a motel, she laid down some serious Jewish guilt on me." Puck shrugged. "Told me that she was in labor for twenty-seven hours with me and the least I could do was visit every once in a while."

"Effective," Rachel smiled softly.

"And a total fucking lie," Puck snorted. "She was only in labor for, like, six hours."

Rachel didn't say anything to that so they sat in silence for a while. Puck looked around him and then back over at Rachel. "It's a nice house."

Rachel snorted. "The roof leaks, the hall toilet backs up every time I turn on the dishwasher, the chimney has a tree growing out of it, the foundation has sunk five inches in two years and I'm pretty sure we have termites. I hate it."

Puck just stared at her in astonishment. "Why did you buy it?" he asked confused.

"Quinn found it for us." Rachel shrugged. "Told us it was a steal and we'd be fools to pass it up."

"Quinn, huh?" Puck raised his eyebrow and Rachel turned to look at him.

"Yep," she nodded, knowing in that instant that he _knew._ Somehow he knew about Finn and Quinn and she laughed at the ridiculousness of the whole situation. Puck laughed right along with her until at some point her laughter turned into a sob. Her hand flew to her mouth in surprise and Puck stopped laughing instantly.

"No," she whispered quietly, lowering her hand to her lap.

"No what?" Puck frowned at her.

"I'm not happy," she shook her head, playing with the tie on her robe.

Puck nodded, as if she'd just confirmed something he'd suspected. He stood and brushed his pants off before turning to look down at her. "Thanks, that's what I needed to know."

Rachel watched him walk towards his truck and she stood suddenly, grabbing onto the porch railing as she called out his name, "Noah!" He turned and looked at her. "Are you?"

"Am I what?" he frowned.

"Are you happy?" She let go of the railing and ran down the steps but stopped herself from going too far, getting too close, exactly like she'd been doing since she was sixteen.

"No." He shook his head and dug his keys from his pocket. "But I'm working on it." He climbed up into his truck and drove off down the street toward his mom's house.

Rachel watched him go, wondering if maybe it was time for her to start working on being happy again, too.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

She couldn't make herself go back to sleep after Puck left. His question just kept rolling around in her head. No one had really asked her if she was happy in a very long time. They'd asked her if she was okay, asked her if she was keeping busy, but not if she was happy. The question took her by surprise, but even more surprising was her answer.

As bad as things had been the past couple of years, Rachel hadn't realized how truly unhappy she was with her home, her marriage, her _entire life_ until Puck had asked her. And revelations like that, at four in the morning, were not conducive to sleep.

When Sam walked into her kitchen the next morning, every available surface was covered in baked goods. There were pies and cakes, muffins and cupcakes, cookies and croissants. "Rach?" Sam asked cautiously. She spun around in surprise, a large mixing bowl clutched to her stomach as she vigorously stirred the batter inside.

"Sam, hey! Are you hungry?"

"I just ate actually," Sam looked around. "Breakfast with mom and dad, they're taking Sophie for the day."

"Right," Rachel nodded and turned back around.

"Is everything…okay? Or are you planning to open a bakery and I just didn't get the memo?" He moved aside a basket of freshly-baked bread and sat down on one of the barstools.

"Noah stopped by last night, well, this morning, I guess." Rachel explained.

"Puck was here?" Sam raised his eyebrows. Maybe he had gotten through to the guy. "What did he want?" 

Rachel stopped and set the bowl of batter on the counter before turning around. "He wanted to know if I was happy. And I'm not, Sam. I'm not happy."

"I know," Sam whispered.

"_I didn't,"_ Rachel said, annoyed. "I had no idea. Then I saw his name in the paper and I remembered a time when I _was_ happy. I'm not stupid. I know things with Finn and I aren't great, they aren't even in the vicinity of great, but I thought I could live with that. I thought that was normal. Then he showed up here and looked at me like—" Rachel swallowed, choking on the thought before shaking her head. "I miss being looked at like that."

"I know what you mean," Sam chuckled under his breath.

"You do, don't you?" Rachel said as if suddenly everything made sense. "I'm sorry."

Sam looked at her like she was crazy, "What are _you_ sorry for?"

"For Quinn and Finn and my part in this whole ridiculous situation," Rachel said, tears stinging the corners of her eyes.

"Your part?" Sam asked sliding off the barstool and walking around the island to stand in front of her.

"If I could have just given Finn what he wanted, been happy with what I had, or-or-or just never married him in the first place, he wouldn't have turned to Quinn and the two of you might have actually had a chance to be happy." Rachel said, the tears falling freely now. "I can handle the fact that I screwed up my own life but the thought that I might have a hand in screwing up yours or Sophie's—"

"Shh," Sam said, grabbing her shoulders and yanking her forcibly into a hug. Her sudden sob was swallowed by his jacket as she collapsed against him. His knuckles were white, her t-shirt balled up in his fists as he held her as tightly and closely as he possibly could. Slowly, she managed to calm herself down with Sam whispering nonsense words into her hair as his lips brushed against her temple.

"Rachel, look at me," he pushed her away when the sobbing stopped. "I need you to look at me." She lifted her head to stare at him and he brought a hand her cheek, wiping an errant tear away. "You have in no way screwed up either my life or Sophie's life." Rachel rolled her eyes and Sam's grip on her shoulders tightened, forcing her gaze back to him.

"No, listen to me because this is important. If it hadn't been for you, I don't know how I would have gotten through the past two years. And Sophie literally thinks that you make the stars shine in the sky." Rachel smiled brightly at this and Sam couldn't help but drop a kiss to her forehead.

"But you and Quinn—"

"Quinn and I aren't happy, we haven't been happy for a long time, and while Finn plays a role in that, he's just a symptom of a larger problem." Sam told her. "But that's _my_ problem. Mine and Quinn's, not yours."

"But I want you to be happy," Rachel whispered.

"You know what?" Sam smiled at her. "I am happy. I have a job that I love, a daughter that means more to me than the world, and I have a best friend that I couldn't live without."

"I couldn't live without you either you know," Rachel said, resting her head on his chest for a second as he hugged her again, lightly this time.

"That's cause I'm awesome," Sam said matter-of-factly and Rachel burst out laughing, unable to help herself as she pushed him away playfully.

An alarm went off and Rachel took a deep breath before turning to the oven. "That would be the banana bread."

"Oh, I love banana bread," Sam said reclaiming his seat at the bar.

"I know. That's why I made it." Rachel smiled brightly at him over her shoulder as she set the steaming loaves on the cooling rack.

"Look, about Puck—"

"I don't want to talk about Noah ok?" Rachel said, pulling off the oven mitts. "I just, I can't talk about Noah right now."

"Okay," Sam held up his hands and grabbed a brownie off the plate next to him just as the front door open and Finn walked into the house.

"So guess who I bumped into at the store?" Finn asked, nodding a subdued 'hello' to Sam and dropping the grocery bag on the counter next to Rachel. She offered him a small smile in thanks and grabbed for the butter eagerly. "Puck."

Rachel dropped the butter to the counter with a loud thunk and spun around. "Puck? Wha-wha-what about Puck?"

Finn gave her a strange look as he opened the fridge and grabbed the orange juice container. "He was just…there. At the store. Buying milk. Isn't that crazy?"

"That he was buying milk?" Rachel asked cautiously.

"That he was buying milk in _Lima_." Finn snorted. "I haven't seen him since, shit, since the night of our rehearsal dinner. But there he was, grabbing a cartoon of 2%." Finn shook his head and screwed off the top, gulping the juice straight from the carton.

"Cup please," Rachel scolded him and he rolled his eyes but pulled a cup out of the dishwasher. "He said he was only in town until tomorrow. He's playing a few days at some club in Cleveland or something."

"Really?" Rachel hoped her tone came off as casually interested and not overly interested. If the look on Sam's face was anything to go by, she was not succeeding.

"Yeah, I was thinking I might drive up and see him play." Finn leaned against the counter and took a sip of his juice.

"You hate clubs." Rachel pointed out then paused. "And also, Cleveland."

Finn laughed. "Yeah," his phone beeped and he pulled it out of his pocket, checking the screen before putting it back. "Plus, it's poker night."

Rachel resisted the urge to snort. Poker night was code for going to a motel with Quinn. Then again these days, everything was code for going to a motel with Quinn. When he'd gone out for the butter earlier, she was actually genuinely surprised that he came back with it.

Sam felt his own phone vibrate in his pocket and he pulled it out seeing a new message pop up on his screen.

_Bumped into Hudson at the store. If you can get Rachel to the gig tonight, I'll take care of the rest._

"I've got some things I need to take care of." Sam jumped off the barstool and dropped a sloppy kiss onto Rachel's forehead before walking to the door. "Save me some banana bread," he called over his shoulder as he dialed a number. "Callie, hey. Are you free again tonight?"

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Rachel muted the television when she heard the unmistakable sound of the door squeak open. It was way too early for Finn to be back. She pulled herself off the couch and grabbed the fire poker off of the hearth as she tiptoed toward the foyer. Her breath came faster as the sound of footsteps drifted down the hall. She took a deep breath and spun out around the corner, the fire poker raised to strike as she screamed.

A hand grabbed her wrist and she dropped the poker to the ground in surprise. "Sam!" Her eyes narrowed and she smacked him across the chest. "You scared the crap out of me."

"_You_ scared the crap out of _me_." Sam let out a breath then picked the poker up off the floor. "Get dressed."

"What? Why?" Rachel crossed her arms over her chest.

"'Cause we're going to Cleveland," Sam called over his shoulder as he headed for the living room.

"No, we're not," Rachel shook her head following him through the house.

"Look, it's Puck's last show and he's our friend and…I can't just sit at home and pretend anymore. I just can't." Rachel looked at him sadly. "Come on, Callie's costing me like seventy-five bucks an hour."

"That's five times her normal rate," Rachel said with her eyes wide.

"Max told her that was the going rate for a last-minute call on Saturday night. Plus I apparently interrupted their date so I have to pay an extra cock-blocking fee-his exact words by the way." Sam said, unable to keep a straight face as they both laughed. "He thinks we're having an affair you know. He told me. Crazy."

"Not so crazy," Rachel took a step toward him, bringing a hand up lightly to lay on his chest and he frowned at her. "I've tried, Sam. I've tried so hard to deny this…attraction I feel for you but I just can't, not anymore." She lifted herself up onto her toes and Sam took a startled step back, grabbing her wrists and pushing her away from him.

"Rach, what are you doing?" Sam asked, a little panicky.

Rachel just laughed as Sam dropped her wrists. "Oh, God! The look on your face," she said doubling over, her laughter spreading to Sam as he got the joke.

"Haha, you're hilarious. Now come on, get dressed," he told her, rolling his eyes and giving her a good smack on the ass as he pushed her toward her bedroom.

Rachel paused halfway down the hall and turned back to Sam. "Is this a good idea?"

"Probably not," Sam shrugged and Rachel smiled and went to get dressed.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Puck finished off the bottle of water and set it on the ground, picking his guitar back up. His eyes darted one more time to the door of the club and his stomach twisted as his fingers slid down the strings on the neck of the guitar. He twisted the tuning key on the bottom E string slightly until he was satisfied with the sound. His set was already half over but there was still no sign of Rachel.

He nodded at Brody over his shoulder and the drummer counted them into the next song. Puck tried to push Rachel to the back of his mind, tried to focus on the music, on the song, but it was hard. He felt so stupid thinking this time would be different, that Rachel would choose him. He thought he'd finally gotten over that fantasy, thought he'd learned from all the times before that it would never be him.

And then he looked up and doors to the club opened and she was standing there. Her eyes immediately sought him out up on the stage and she smiled slightly and he had hope, for the first time in a long time. Sam pushed her toward a table, guiding her with a hand on her arm and offered Puck a small nod as they passed the stage. Puck nodded back, a different kind of twisting starting up in his stomach as the song ended.

He looked over at Kyle and nodded. The other man set his bass down and grabbed a stool from behind the stage curtain. "I'm gonna try something a little different now." Puck said sitting down on the stool as Kyle switched out his electric guitar for his acoustic. "I wrote this song yesterday," Puck said, deftly tuning the strings as he talked. "So it's still a little rough but you guys are gonna be the first to hear it."

The crowd roared their approval at that and Puck smiled a little, settling into the stool. "I wrote it for someone special, a girl." They roared again and Puck shook his head. "When I was sixteen years old, she dumped me, broke my heart on the high school bleachers, and I just let her walk away because I didn't know then that would be the biggest mistake I'd ever make. I should have fought harder for her. Hell, I should have never let her go in the first place but I thought I was doing what was best for her, doing what she wanted me to do. Not anymore."

Puck looked straight at Rachel now and it was almost like the entire club followed his gaze to her. "I know I never actually asked you to choose me. I thought I was being the bigger man but really, I was just scared. Scared that you wouldn't. Scared that you might not even want to. But I'm done being scared, so I'm asking you now, one last time, Rachel. Choose me."

He tore his gaze away from hers and looked down at his guitar.

Rachel continued to stare up at Puck as he began to sing. "Did he just…"

"Yeah," Sam nodded with a smile on his face.

"But—"

"Just listen, Rach. For once in your life, just shut up and listen," Sam said and Rachel knew by the smile on his face that he wasn't being mean, he was just being honest so she just nodded and took his advice.

_You go believin' in your Lancelot  
>Well it's all in vain<br>And you're chasin' picket fences,  
>There's always hell to pay<br>I met many a girl in here  
>With the same story line<em>

_All them boys on those white horses  
>Don't know how to ride<em>

Her breath caught in her throat as his eyes lifted up once more and locked with hers. He didn't look away and neither did she. He sang. She listened.

_But I got a paint outside with enough giddy-up to be free  
>I got a faint smell of cheap perfume<br>And a hint of gasoline  
>See I'm a different kind of knight<br>You're gonna find your fairy tales are lies  
>I don't have a white horse<br>But you can come along for the ride  
><em>  
><em>She said "I'm tired of living life in a romance book<br>I think chivalry's dead  
>And I ain't gonna look<br>For them roundtable boys on the white horse  
>That can't get the story right."<em>

Rachel pulled her eyes away from Puck and staring at Sam. "I can't—" she grabbed her bag without another word and slid from the barstool, pushing her way through the crowd, her breath coming faster and faster, her chest constricting with every word he sang.

_I said "As luck would have it  
>I was tossed by the throne<br>I let my Marion down  
>Some years ago<br>And I traded my coat of arms  
>For a guitar and some broken yellow lines."<br>_

Rachel shoved the doors of the club open and burst out onto the street, doubling over as she gulped in breath after breath of the fresh night air but it was no use. She could still hear him singing, and it was like the words were lodging in her throat, cutting off her air supply.

_But I got a paint outside with enough giddy-up to be free  
>I got a faint smell of cheap perfume<br>And a hint of gasoline  
>See I'm a different kind of knight<br>You're gonna find your fairy tales are lies_

_I don't have a white horse  
>But you can come along for the ride<em>

The door closed behind her and the music was cut off and she took in a deep breath and then another. Then there were soothing hands on her waist, wrapping around her stomach as her back was pulled up against a solid chest.

"I got you," Sam whispered in her ear. "It's okay, I got you." Rachel let go then, sobbing uncontrollably. At some point Sam pulled them both down to the ground, holding her tightly until she managed to stop the tears. They sat together in silence then as Rachel got her breathing under control.

"I'm sorry," Sam said after a few minutes. "I thought this is what you wanted."

"I don't know what I want anymore," Rachel said sincerely.

"He loves you Rach, he—" Rachel held up a hand and Sam stopped.

"I'm not sure if that's enough anymore," Rachel said sadly. "Things are so complicated now."

"But they're not. They're easy, they're so very easy." Sam grabbed her shoulders. "Do you love him?"

"Does it matter?" Rachel rolled her eyes and tried to pull away, and Sam was struck at how truly alike they were.

"It's the only thing that does," Sam said, giving her the same answer he'd given Puck just the day before.

"I think I want to go home." Rachel pulled herself to her feet.

"Rachel-"

"I want to go home, Sam," Rachel said brushing off her pants. "Please."

Sam sighed and nodded.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Rachel dropped her keys in the bowl by the door, more exhausted than she'd ever been in her life. She kicked her shoes off in the general direction of the laundry room and headed down the hall toward the bedroom, not even bothering to turn on any lights as she went. All she wanted to do was curl up into her own bed and sleep for a few days but as soon as she sat down she felt the mattress shift behind her.

"How was Cleveland?" Finn asked and Rachel jumped up in surprise at the sound of his voice. She spun around with her hand on her chest and squinted into the darkness of the room.

"Finn? What are you doing here?" Rachel asked him.

"I live here," Finn said, turning on the bedside lamp.

Rachel resisted the urge to roll her eyes because he spent more time at the motel by the bowling alley than their bedroom. "I mean, what are you doing sitting in the dark?"

"Waiting for you," Finn stood up. "So how was Cleveland?"

"I didn't…I wasn't…" Rachel shook her head.

Finn picked something up off the bedside table and tossed it in her direction. It fell on the mattress and Rachel looked down in horror at her copy of Puck's CD. "You went through my things?" She asked picking up the CD and clutching it to her chest.

"I was looking for the key to the storage unit," Finn said. "I found that instead. '_To Rachel, my first and most important fan. You might not realize it but I would never have gotten where am I today without you. You were the first person who ever believed in me and I'll never forget that'._ It's sweet, really._"_

Rachel closed her eyes and swallowed. She knew there was no way this was going to end well but at the moment, the worst thing about this whole situation had to be hearing Puck's words come out of Finn's mouth. She hadn't actually read it yet herself and hated that he took that from her.

"I thought you were acting a bit strange when I mentioned seeing him earlier and then I found this. So I decided to check him out, see what was going on. Imagine my surprise when I walked into the bar and saw him singing, to my wife." Rachel's face paled. "Are you sleeping with him?"

Her head shot up at that accusation and she narrowed her eyes. "Did you really just ask me that question?" she asked, her voice much calmer than she thought it would be.

"That's not an answer," Finn said indignantly. "Are you sleeping with him?"

"I'm not the one in this marriage who has a standing reservation for Room 435 at the Holiday Inn." All the color drained from Finn's face and Rachel laughed. "You can't honestly be that surprised I know Finn. You should let Quinn know that using her maiden name isn't really the best alias."

"How long have you known?" Finn asked her.

"For about two years now." Rachel shrugged. "I can't remember a time when I didn't know."

"I may be sleeping with another woman, but you cheated on me long before that." Finn said.

"I've never cheated on you," Rachel told him.

"You've been in love with him since high school, Rachel. It may not have been physical, you may have never acted on it, but it still felt like cheating." Finn sat down heavily on the bed. "So yeah, I checked out of this relationship a few years ago but you, you checked out sophomore year of college." Rachel looked at him confused.

"Your lost weekend," he explained. "We had that huge fight and you left. It was like this weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I could breathe again. Then your dads called me the next day. You weren't answering your phone and they wanted to know why you charged an expensive last-minute bus ticket to New York. I covered for you, told them we'd decided to go up to the city last minute to see a show. I knew, right away I knew where you'd gone. To see him. I could feel you slipping away and maybe I should have just let you go then."

"Why didn't you?" Rachel asked him. "Why the hell did you marry me?"

"Because I couldn't lose you. Not again. And not to him."

"What?" Rachel looked at him like he was crazy.

"I lost everyone to Puck – first, Quinn and then Drizzle. I wasn't going to let him take you too." He shrugged.

Rachel took a deep breath and stared at him. "Let me ask you something, Finn. How much of our relationship, of the last ten years of our lives have been about you hanging onto me so Noah couldn't have me?"

If he was offended by the question, he didn't let it show, just stared right back at her. "How much of the last ten years of our lives have been about you settling for me because he never asked?"

Rachel sat down on the bed and shook her head. "What are we doing?" she asked him.

"I have no idea," he said truthfully. "He loves you, you know? He came to me, the night of our rehearsal dinner. You both had sort of just disappeared earlier that night and when he showed up on my doorstep, I thought he was there to tell me that you'd finally chosen him, that you were leaving."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

_Finn barely had the door open before Puck was pushing his way inside. "We need to talk," was all he said as he made his way into the house. Finn sighed and closed the door following him in. _

"_Come on in," Finn mumbled under his breath. "Where did you go? You and Rach kind of disappeared from the restaurant." _

"_Don't do it," Puck said when Finn got into the living room. _

"_Don't do what?" Finn asked and Puck gave him an annoyed look. _

"_You know what," Puck said. "Don't marry her." _

_Finn let out a deep breath and shook his head. "It kills you, doesn't it? That she chose me." _

"_So not what this is about, man," Puck told him seriously. "This is not the right move for either of you." _

"_Right," Finn nodded. "So what? You spend a few years in New York and suddenly you know what's best for everyone?" _

"_Don't be an ass. This is serious. This is about the rest of your life, the rest of _her_ life." Puck said. "Does it bother you at all that she's giving up everything for you?" _

"_All I did was ask, Puck. She's a big girl, she made her choice." _

"_I guess that's the difference between you and me then. I'd never ask her to make that choice," Puck said. _

"_Maybe it's easy for you, to be the bigger man. To just let her go and walk away but I can't do that," Finn replied and Puck barked out a humorless laugh. _

"_If you think any of this is easy for me, then you're a bigger idiot than I thought," Puck snapped before storming out of the house. _

_::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::_

They sat there not speaking for what seemed like hours but in reality was mere minutes. The silent sound of their marriage falling apart around them was deafening.

"So, what happens now?" Rachel asked Finn.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Puck woke up to the smell of bacon and his stomach recoiled at the thought. He managed, just barely, to keep himself from throwing up all over his childhood bed and groaned as he opened his eyes. The sunlight streaming through the window was practically blinding and did nothing to quell the pounding in his head.

He hadn't been this hung-over in years. That combined with the fact that he was back in his old bed, in his old room, he felt like a teenager again, waking up the morning after some killer party at Santana's house. It was a little pathetic that the reason behind his alcoholic over-indulgence hadn't change in ten years.

He screwed his eyes shut tight, but the headache and the nausea didn't do a better job than the Jack Daniels to keep him from seeing the same image that had haunted him all night long: the back of Rachel's head as she ran from the club. He never knew girls could move that fast in heels.

When his stomach turned again, he sat up in bed, figuring if he couldn't go back to sleep, he might as well get some coffee and get on the road. He pulled on whatever clothes he could find that didn't smell too much like a bathroom floor and headed down the stairs.

"Mom, I told you I didn't have time for breakfast, I've got to be back in Cleveland by ten—" he froze, one foot hovering above the bottom step as he stared into the kitchen.

Rachel was just sitting there at his kitchen table, her fingers curled around the "I heart NY" coffee mug he'd gotten his mom when they went to National's Junior year.

"Hey," she said softly, a hesitant smile on her face.

"Hey," Puck walked further into the room slowly, unable to take his eyes off her.

"I brought your jacket back," Rachel said, nodding to the jacket that was draped across the back of the chair in front of him.

"And every other piece of clothing you own?" Puck asked, looking down at the bags piled up by her feet. This whole thing felt surreal, and for a second he thought maybe he was still asleep, maybe this was all a dream.

"Don't be rude," his mom said walking into the room and smacking him in the back of his head before handing him a cup of coffee. He rubbed at his scalp, wincing but at least sure he wasn't dreaming.

"What are you doing here?" Puck asked her, sipping the bitter coffee if only to have something to keep his hands busy.

"I wanted to talk to you," Rachel said slowly, setting her mug on the table. "I shouldn't have just run out on you like that."

"No, you shouldn't have," Puck said, pulling out a chair and sitting down next to her. "So why did you?"

"I thought it was too late for us," Rachel tried to explain. "I had myself convinced that I'd imagined there was ever anything between us, that obviously you didn't want me, that you couldn't possibly love me because it was the only way that I could get through the day sometimes. And then you were back and saying those things and singing that song and suddenly it was like everything I'd made myself believe for the past ten years was wrong and it was too much for me to take."

"You didn't imagine it," Puck whispered.

"I know that now," Rachel smiled at him and took a long sip of her coffee. "I left Finn." Puck sucked in a breath but didn't say anything. It was then he noticed the distinct lack of a wedding band on her left hand. "I'm not choosing you, Noah. I need you to know that."

"Oh," Puck said dumbly, letting out his breath.

"I'm choosing me," she continued. "It's what I should have done a long time ago. I need to figure out how to be me again. I'm not sure I'm ready for anything else right now."

"No, I get it, I really do," Puck assured her.

"No, you don't," Rachel laughed softly.

"No, I don't," he agreed and smiled over at her.

"I'm not choosing you," she said again.

"I get _that_, trust me you don't have to hammer the point home," Puck said, growing a bit irritated.

"I'm not choosing you," she said one more time, ignoring him. "_Yet_."

"_Yet_?" Puck asked and she nodded shyly. "I'll take it."

His mom walked back into the room, dropping a plate of bacon down in front of them and Puck picked up a piece, shoving it into his mouth. Suddenly, his stomach wasn't so uneasy and he was starving.

"Your mom told me that you were heading back to Cleveland today. I was hoping maybe you'd give me a ride to the bus station?" Rachel said.

"Where are you headed?" Puck asked her, grabbing another piece of bacon.

"New York," Rachel said, unable to keep the excitement out of her voice.

"Huh, what do you know? That's where I'm headed." Puck smirked at her.

"Yeah?" Rachel asked.

"Maybe I could just give you a ride to New York?" he offered.

Rachel looked up and saw Aviva standing in the kitchen doorway staring at them with a soft expression on her face. It was different from the sad, almost indifferent look she normally gave Rachel at Temple, more hopeful. "I'd like that," Rachel said and Aviva smiled before drifting off to somewhere else in the house. "Can we make a stop before we leave?"

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

When Sam opened the door, Sophia resting on his hip, he didn't look even remotely surprised to see Rachel on his front porch and Puck's truck parked in his driveway. "You're smiling." Sam said before she could open her mouth. "You're happy."

"I'm getting there," Rachel said.

"You're leaving?" Sam asked, moving Sophia to his other hip and Rachel's smile fell just a little.

"Come with me." Rachel asked gently.

Sam laughed softly, "I can't."

"Sam," she pleaded.

"Rachel," he shook his head.

Tears welled up in her eyes. "It was so easy to leave Finn, so much easier than I thought it would be. But you—"

Sam leaned forward and dropped a kiss to her forehead. "I'll be fine. Me and Soph, we're gonna be just fine."

"I want you to be more than fine," Rachel told him. "I want you to be happy."

"I kicked Quinn out this morning. Packed her bags for her and put them by the front door. Told her that there would probably be a vacant room at your house pretty soon and she was welcome to go there," Sam said.

"Good for you," Rachel smiled through the tears in her eyes.

"Just…tell me that I'll see you again." Sam said.

"Of course you will," Rachel wiped a tear off her cheek. "You'll see me so much you'll get sick of me."

"Never," Sam assured her. Puck honked the horn and she turned around and waved at him.

"I've got to go," Rachel said not bothering to wipe the tears away this time. She held out her hands and Sophia immediately reached for her. Rachel laughed and hugged the girl tightly before kissing her. "I'll call you when I figure out where I'm going to be."

"Maybe we can come up one weekend, help you get settled," Sam offered and Rachel nodded. He reached forward and pulled her into a hug, squeezing her gently before pulling away. "Go on, get out of here." Sam took Sophia back from her. "You don't need to keep him waiting any longer."

Rachel nodded and kissed Sophia one more time before turning around and walking away. "Wave bye-bye," she heard Sam say to Sophia but forced herself not to cry. She was tired of crying.

When she climbed into the truck Puck brushed the hair off her forehead, "You okay?"

"Yeah," Rachel said. "I really am. So, New York?"

"We've got a few more stops to make first," Puck admitted. "Technically, we're still on tour. Is that okay?"

"I guess it depends on where we're stopping," she said, pulling on her seatbelt.

"We've got a week in Chicago," Puck said.

"I went there with my dads once. There's this place by Wrigley Field that has an amazing vegan deep dish pizza."

"Then two weeks in Boston," Puck told her.

"Ah, good old Bean Town. I've always wanted to visit the theater district there," Rachel said.

"Then two nights in Jersey," Puck smiled.

"Eww," Rachel screwed up her face. "Jersey? Really?" She unbuckled her seat belt and made a move for the door handle, pushing it open. Puck slid across the seat and slapped his hand over hers, yanking the door closed and she laughed. "I won't go to Jersey, you can't make me."

Puck smiled, sliding his fingers in between hers and pulling her hand off the handle. She turned to look at him, her breath coming fast, and the entire atmosphere shifted. Puck became suddenly, painfully aware that he was lying practically on top of her.

She looked up at him and tilted her head slightly; her eyes flew down to his lips before her tongue darted out to moisten her own. He leaned forward just a little more and her eyes fluttered closed. He groaned and dropped his forehead to hers.

"I'm not gonna kiss you," Puck whispered and she opened her eyes, confused. "Don't get me wrong. I want to kiss you, I've been wanting to kiss you for ten years now. But you're still married and this whole thing is happening so fast and you were right. You need to learn how to be you again. And I really need you to be ready when I finally kiss you, because when I kiss you…I'm not gonna be able to stop."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"All right, settle down." Sam walked into Rachel's classroom Monday morning and grabbed her lesson plan off of her desk.

"Where's Mrs. H?" Max asked but before Sam could answer, someone from the back of the class spoke up.

"I heard she left Mr. H and ran away with some guitar player,"

"It wasn't just some guitar player, he, like, went to high school with her. I think they were in Glee club together or something."

Sam just shook his head because he'd forgotten how fast the rumor mill worked in Lima. "All you need to know is that she's not here and I'm going to be covering some of her classes until they can get a more permanent replacement." They all groaned, knowing there was no way they would get anything out of Sam. "She said you guys were working on Pride and Prejudice." He picked up the book off the corner of her desk and looked at it as if it might bite him. "What chapter were you on?"

"We just started watching the movie on Friday actually," Max said and Sam smiled.

"Movie, great," Sam jumped up. "That sounds like a plan I can get behind." He sent one of the students to the AV room to get a TV and told everyone to use the free time to study. He wasn't surprised at all when Callie walked up to his desk.

"Is any of it true?" Callie couldn't stop herself from asking. "The rumors?"

Sam sighed and looked up at her. "Let's just say it took her a little bit longer to make the right choice than it took you." Sam nodded over her shoulder at Max. He's not sure he'd ever be able to forget walking into his house Saturday night and catching Callie and Max on his sofa. Articles of clothing were missing and hands were in places that hands had no business being.

"But she's okay?" Callie asked. "She's happy?"

Sam thought about the text message he got from her that morning – a picture of a beaming Rachel standing next to a half-asleep but still smiling Puck in front of the Chicago Theatre – and smiled. "Yeah, I think she really is."


End file.
